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freeing a soul : february 2002
2.26.2002
the return from paradise
it is now 9:26am.
i have been up since 5:19am.
i took david's cousin to the airport.
since returning, i have been to 4 different pharmacies, soothed the sleep-deprived, miserably suncrisp-ed david with solarcaine so he could sleep for the first time in 2 days without waking up every 10 minutes in pain, recorded the mound of receipts from our "vacation", balanced my checkbook, gone to the bank and the grocery store and had 2 cups of coffee.
<everyone gasps> "belen! we had no idea you could be so productive in the morning!"
yah, bite me.
"so how was key west, belen?"
<glares at you>
i suppose you want me to have something positive to say?
<sighs> well, bear in mind that my attitude was shitty from the start, so i doubt you will get an accurate account.
but here goes:
if i had to give a breif statement about the experience, it would be that as a tourist spot, i think that key west is a poor choice unless you a) plan to stay for an extended period of time and b) expect to spend a *lot* of money to be entertained. i can see that perhaps if you lived there, found the right artsy people and owned a boat, one could reside very happily...there was evidence of quaint coffee shops and potentially lovely "hangouts". however, again, this would mean you have the money to live independently.
so we left tampa at around 1:30pm on friday. we drove through pouring rain until we hit a town called homestead, south of miami...the last real town before the keys. i had found on the internet that the days inn had rooms for $69 a night, which was tolerable....i guess.
well, we get to homestead and find out that unless you reserved ahead, the days in was $99.
<grumbles> the guy suggests the travelodge down the street.
i have found travelodge, under most circumstances to be at the low end of a tolerable hotel, but still comfortable and affordable.
it was $80. we didnt bother to mention marcus, david's cousin...we just got a single room with 2 beds. then she tells us that there is only 1 door and it is monitored at all times.
hrm.
well, he can come visit us as a guest in about 20 minutes...who will notice, anyway?
so we drag everything upstairs.
the room is...well, for $90 (15% tax in florida for hotels) one would think that perhaps you might get the fridge and micorwave to work without having to pay $1 a day. we prepared to bend over.
when marcus arrives, we are informed that there are actually no visitors allowed in the rooms (what is this, a nazi death camp? *how* much am i paying to stay here???) so he can only stay 15 minutes and then he will be escorted out.
yup...this sounds like the beginning of another fabulous florida vacation.
so we think about this, wondering if we should just say we lied.
the back of the door says that each additional person is $7. well, fuck, can we just offer to pay that money and then he becomes a guest?
so i go talk to the very crabby woman downstairs, and under my expert persuasion powers, she agrees.
we have now paid $97 to stay in the nazi death camp of homestead, florida.
so we get up the next morning to the pouring rain and being the treck down the keys. occassionally, it isnt raining...that wacky gulf-coast storm weather where it is a typhoon one moment and almost sunny the next.
we get to the hotel and it is nice enough...you cant really go wrong with a raddison (that is, i might add, $219 a night normally at this time of year).
"was it on the beach, belen?"
define "beach".
apparently (*i* certainly didnt know this) key west isnt known for its beaches.
when i think key west, i think blue blue water, white sandy beaches stretching and lots of people basking in the glory.
well, there are 3 "beaches". they are about 25-30 feet of sand to the water, some longer than others. but for the most part i was seriously unimpressed.
so saturday, we spent the day wandering around downtown, and the weather had cleared enough to be pretty but windy ("windy"defined as 30mph with gusts up to 37mph).
sunday, the boys were on a mission for sun. i was fairly game...not an ocean swimmer, but i like the sand and reading a good book.
so i put on the new bathing suit i bought 6 weeks ago, thinking that after 4 weeks of working out, that i would probably feel pretty good in it.
and to my shock and anger it was tighter and significantly less attractive than when i bought it.
<screams and yells and hurls explatives>
fine. whatever. this trip has been nothing but a pain in my ass so far, why should it get any better?
so i read on the beach, with sunglasses on, a hat, my hippie dress over my bathing suit and slathered in sunscreen. is this the same girl who worshipped the sun and sat on beaches in *oil* and a tiny bikini every chance she got?
yup.
so the boys swam all day. i offered sunscreen and david put a little on his face. i encouraged him to use it more liberally...he opted not to, and i figured i was not his mother and left him be.
after 8 hours in the sun, it appeared as though he was going to live to regret that decision.
we left the beach and wandered around the old cemetary. because of flooding etc, they have to bury everyone in above ground crypts like in new orleans, so it was wonderful. the sun was setting, david and i were wandering hand and hand through the mosoleums, and after a full day of brooding on the beach trying to avoid the sun, i was finally relaxed and zenning. <snickers> i suppose the goth in me isnt dead yet ;)
every meal we ate that wasnt subway was way overpriced and extremely mediocre. i have no problem spending money on nice dinners. but $60 for something that tastes like i am eating at a Luby's is just insulting.
monday, we wandered a bit but david was so burned to a crisp that he was just miserable, and marcus and i switched off driving the 8+ hours home.
my opinion?
$400 down the toilet, egged on by torrential downpours, gale force winds, extortion-like prices, PMS and 18 hours of round-trip driving for 1 weekend of "sand and sun" (which david will never go near again without bullfrog 50spf)
will i ever go back?
sure, if someone provides me with a free 6 month beach house rental, a sailboat, and a high speed internet connection.
posted by belen 7:05 AM
2.22.2002
the thing you never
want to hear on the morning you are leaving for key west for a weekend getaway:
<rumbleCRASHpitter-patterpitter-patter>
good morning belen, have some thunderstorms to start your first day of vacation...not the typical florida kind that lasts 1.2 an hours, but hte kind that has been going all morning.
and then i think,
"BUT WAIT! key west is a 10 hour drive SOUTH! no problem!"
and then i look at http://www.weather.com/weather/
local/USFL0244?GO=GO and i realize that this front is moving *SOUTH*.high of 80, thunderstorms tonight in the miami/key west area (where we planned to camp), thunderstorms all day saturday with a high of only 73, and sunday might grace us with some sun, but only a high of 74.
<throws a tantrum>
posted by belen 7:12 AM
2.15.2002
it has happened
i have become marketing slime.
you know, *someone* creates those long fluffy descriptions of things that when you are done reading them, you think "WOW, that said absolutely NOTHING of substance!"
doing copywriting for xtine this week, this is the latest thing i have created:
Basic Essentials Maintenance is a small minority-owned business founded on the principle of affordable, accountable business practices. We consider each job from the other side of the negotiating table: what are our clients needs, how can we keep costs down for them, and most importantly, will they be completely satisfied with our work?In an industry not always known for its reliability and accountability, we pride ourselves on our reputation for serving our clients needs above and beyond their expectations. Our projects are on time. Our employees are knowledgeable. Our company is honest.
We believe that communication is the key to success in any project. If we foresee delays or potential problems with a job, you are the first to know and benefit from our expert advice.
With jobs ranging from $1,000 to over $500,000 in the public and private sectors, Basic Essentials Maintenance has the know-how and the tools to make your project a success!
<hangs head in shame>
posted by belen 2:17 PM
PROTEST
i protest against the BASTARDS at AOL/Netscape.
so i have been using trillian, which is an instant messaging tool that acts as an interface for AIM, ICQ, Yahoo & MSN Messenger.
it was a lifesaver for me, bec with all my business contacts, there is *someone* i need to talk to on each of those mediums.
and it was just fine for a few months...and this morning i got a message when i logged on that said
"you are using an unauthorized interface for AIM. if you want to use our service, you can download our interface at..."
GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
the bastards know they have the marketshare, and they refuse to play nicely with others.
you know, i am itching to boycott these bastards and get rid of them completely, but most of my contact base is on AIM.
this makes me so cranky. i truly dislike supporting the overbearing market-hogging bastard that AOL is becoming.
posted by belen 7:11 AM
2.13.2002
uncanny talent
apparently, i have an uncanny ability to detect sites that are ripped off...
today, i went to a website for a client to gather copy for the brochure we were making for them.
i get to the site and i think "WOW, this site is actually *designed*...how interesting!" (this was a cleaning contractor for the state of Texas)
and then something in the back of my brain says "wait...this site design looks *so* familiar!"
i blow it off.
i view the source to get some info about their logo, and i notice as i scroll that there is an image named "find_talent.gif" and 1 named "find_work.gif"
this is a *cleaning* site...what the hell are they naming images things that sound like a headhunter's site?
and then that tingle begins in the back of my brain.
i look more closely at the code.
images of dots are named blue_dots & green_dots. the site colors are maroon and black.
my brain starts churning to remember where i have seen this site.
and then i realize.
funny thing is that with the color difference and content changes, you dont immediately see the ripoff.
let me show you:
the site that they ripped off was none other than the BIG freelance site www.guru.com
for you geeks, i will detail the damage:
1) site shell is identical...the designer only changed the colors. the code, even its *spacing* is identical.
2) comment tags like <!-- Here is all the top swoop stuff --> are identical
3) and get this: they actually have the balls to put this text on their "legal" page:
All content, graphics, code and software used on or incorporated into this web site, and the arrangement or integration of all such content, graphics, code and software are subject to copyrights held by or licensed to QSI, and all rights thereto are specifically reserved. Permission is granted to electronically copy and print hard copies of pages from this web site solely for personal, non-commercial purposes. Any other use of this web site or content or information contained in this web site is strictly prohibited, unless the written permission of QSI first is obtained.
needless to say, our client was shocked and angry to find out that he paid someone to rip off his site. i dont know what he plans to do, but i do hope its *something*. personally, i would report the person i hired to guru with the url for the site and let them punch him/her in the eye. this kind of shit makes me so cranky.
if you call yourself a designer, produce some fucking original work.
goddamn con artists.
posted by belen 4:17 PM
2.8.2002
the joy of kitchen appliances
in 1994, i officially got my own apartment. at that time, i bought a used blender from my boss for $10.
this blender saw me through the Drinking Years, the Party Years, the Breakup Years, and Body-Nazi-ism Phase I.
and the poor thing just couldn't do it anymore.
as i have begun Body-Nazi-ism Phase II, it has begged me to retire.
and today i bought a new blender
<purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs>
new kitchen appliances are so yummy.
and as i unpacked it, i had a moment of confusion.
as much as i love kitchen appliances, *obviously* i am an amateur.
the blender has 12 speeds, all named using the most delicious action verbs:
pulse
crush
stir
puree
crumb
chop
mix
grate
beat
shred
blend
liquifynow, i beg you, how many of you have ever put anything in a blender and had it come out any other way besides....
well, *blended*?
usually, ready to pour into a cold mug, or consume as a breakfast shake.
i have never *crumbed* anything in a blender
i have never *grated* anything with my blender.
whatever i put in comes out a liquid compilation of a sort of thicker, smoother consistancy.
WHO NEEDS *12* speeds?
can anyone actually use such a fine differentiation of control?
<sighs> i think i am missing something.
ODE TO MY BLENDER
Pulse: <thump-thump> my heart races for my beautiful new kitchen appliance
Crush it, crush it like the ice it is!
Stir me gently, perhaps you can...but so can a spoon.
Puree...only used for tomatoes and peas, neither of which appreciate the attention, i am sure.
Crumb, a word that can only bring to mind a nice way to say "you rotten sonofabitch" (thanks mom)
Chop, perhaps, but knives are so much more....satisfying.
Mix...cake batter, brownie batter, muffins...*blender*?
Grate - cheese, right? when was the last time *you* put cheese a blender?
Beat...*NOW* we are talking...where is my flogger again?
Shred - best done to young tasty morsels, and entirely too messy in a blender.
Blend my shakes? a-ha, your mission, if you choose to accept it...
Liquify...now, indeed, *this* is the task for which you were invented!
posted by belen 4:57 PM
down with karaoke
last night, hovering below the sound of our television, we had the sense that someone somewhere nearby was playing their stero much too loud.
at 9, i had no concerns.
at 11, i thought, "wow, it doesnt even have any bass...and the music is really bad!"
at 1, as david and i laid in bed listening to the hollow music reverberating everywhere with vocals that sounded like really bad indian music, i realized what it was.
karaoke.
you know, i am not a huge fan of karaoke. not sure why...maybe its because it is generally a drunk activity that, if you are sober, is mind-numbingly bad, or if you are drunk, you are contributing to.
but i didnt think i was against it, in concept, in the privacy of your own home.
i used to think "sure, wanna wail to music? have at it *at home*!"
now, i have changed my mind.
i have always respected the sancity of one's home to do all manner of things that many in the public eye might not want to see.
wear spandex when you are 200 lb overweight.
tie that naughty husband yours up and punish him soundly.
but now, i have decided, that if you live where other people have to suffer too, you DO NOT have the right to have a karaoke machine, muchless use it.
even through steel and concrete, no one is safe.
the unearthly howl of the karaoke machine leaves no one unscathed.
posted by belen 7:18 AM
2.5.2002
ominous portent?
so many of you know that david and i created Gothic Magnetic Poetry kits for some of our friends for xmas this year. (and for those of you still waiting, we just got new magnets, so we will have more soon!).
well, because they were indeed homemade, they have had a few problems, like words falling off their magnets.
the first casualty of our personal set was, fittingly enough, "death". he committed suicide shortly after his arrival on the refridgerator by hurling himself at the ground.
i stuck him back up, much to his annoyance.
but this morning, i discovered what is perhaps a portent of ominous things to come.
i think i am being stalked.
this morning, i arrived at my computer to find that "death" had made his way across the house from his home on the fridge to settle directly under my chair, taunting me. (no doubt he had assistance from the evil 4-legged furry devil-bunnies of our home)
so i picked him up and sat him on the desk next to me for the day.
maybe the fridge is too white for his taste.
i understand.
its hard to be him.
<raises eyebrow> he really isnt going to like the superglue.
posted by belen 11:26 AM
2.3.2002
HAHAHAHAHA!
SatireWire | Passed Over, Syria, China, Libya Form Axis of Just As Evil
posted by belen 6:15 PM
2.1.2002
oh! i forgot to mention
<with giant frosty-mug of rum runners in my fist>
i almost forgot!
i will officially be in austin from march 7-18 for SXSW
you can send your thank-you notes to conduit for shipping me in to promote the company ;)
more details to come...prepare for a belen-sighting near you :)
posted by belen 2:50 PM
fridayfridayfridayfriday
mmmmm....yes. friday.
there are children "using their voices" (i will never live down that phrase) very loudly just outside my window. while i am a fan of children, i am beginning to think i may also be a fan of tranquilizer guns.
little known belen-fact: invariably, one of my socks is *always* on inside out. just 1 though, not both.
no, i dont do this on purpose, and actually, i was not the one who noticed. dondi (my roommate) pointed it out a couple of years ago (yes, i found it an odd thing to notice about someone too) and since then i have casually noticed that she is indeed correct. i cannot remember a time i looked at my feet in socks where the socks were both the same way.
satisfying trivia, huh?
after a chaotically busy week, today has been strangely quiet...not quite sure what to do with myself. luckily the day is over, and i am left to clean the house, scrounge up some dinner and waste some time before going to the club tonight.
so we finished the basic designs for the TNV pay site :) and i must say i am pleased. wanna peek? please note, it is adult content...if you are offended, don't look, or if you do, don't bitch to me :)
mmmmm...and now the worthless leaf blowers come by, drowning out the kids, but adding that extra grating layer of sound to the universe :)
perhaps i am just over-sensitive today?
i am going to go fix pina coladas and force david to zen on the porch with me in the noise and chaos. zen in spite of surroundings :)
posted by belen 2:33 PM