done with memory lane? go back to inside.belen.net >>

Like everything, a journal is the reflection of a journey and its form morphs with time. This archive covers my blogging from 1999-2002.


The Blogger years. It started as I began travelling and wanted a more daily journal of my life to share with my friends.
oct sept aug july
june may april march
feb jan    
dec nov oct sept
aug july june may
april      

The leap from milky white pages to glowing white screen...the start of virtual exhibitionism.
apr.17: irate
apr.08: expired
apr.07: home
apr.06: free
mar.26: bound
feb.18: inked
jan.02: lost
jan.02: dream
sep.13: high
sep.02: wander
aug.30: touched
jul.24: glow
may.11: snap
feb.29: sex
jan.11: why
jan.01: the apocolypse
dec.06: mourning
nov.01: insanity
oct.13: caged
oct.13: surrender

freeing a soul : august 2001

8.31.2001

"Cat Haikus"

(these are so true and so wonderful :)

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere
Will find in morning.

Grace personififed.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then -
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds -
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper?"

Small brace carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?

Oh no! Big One has been
Trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"
posted by belen 10:52 PM

8.28.2001

fucking rediculous

i just had a fight with our printer and it won, stupid goddamn cocksucker.

yes, i am annoyed beyond words.

my computer hates everything. so while the other 2 computers in the house will play nicely with the printer, mine wont.

while the other computers recognize each other in the Network, mine wont.

so david is in Chicago, and i needed to print a letter (written in Word of course). well, usually i forward him stuff in email and he prints for me. (technology at its best)

but since he and his computer are gone, i was left to fight with the other desktop, which is not very nice either.

so i attach the doc to an email and send to my hotmail account.

i go to the other computer and open my hotmail, download the file, and then find out that the goddman machine doesnt have Word.

shit.

so i go back to my computer, reformat the letter into a text document so i can open it in notepad <rolls eyes>

go to the other computer, check my hotmail, download file, and the damn browser opens it automatically with the goddamn hotmail header at the top.

fuck.

so i try to pull it into notepad and print and it looks like ass.

<stompstompstompstomp>

so then i do what any web designer would do in this situation:

i took the letter, formatted it as an html page, uploaded it to the server, pulled it up on the other computers browser and printed the motherfucker.

i dont know if i have been this annoyed in a long long time.
posted by belen 6:35 PM

8.25.2001

dream house

i want a treehouse.

for as long as i can remember, i have been fascinated by the idea of living in a treehouse someday.

and today, i stopped by the bookstore and in the window, there was a book about treehouses...even talked about how to build. there were these *fabulous* pictures of treehouses.

i was in love.

most in the book were in hawaii or the pacific northwest.

cozy little houses.

big grand multi-level houses.

houses with decks all around them.

i want a treehouse with a huge beuatiful garden below it. i want to look down from my balcony and see my flowers blooming, my vegetables growing, my bushes....bushing?

this is my dream.

david wants a boat. so i figure between our two desires, we could quite possibly end up with the most eclectic lifestyle choices imaginable :)
posted by belen 4:47 PM

8.24.2001

ArtSquad spam

this is the cutest marketing spam i have ever seen :)

Faster than a crashing network, more powerful than a G4, able to leap through deadlines with a single pot of coffee...it's the Super Heroes of Art Squad!

Aquaman: For several seasons, Mike art directed and produced award-winning work for Discovery Channel's Shark Attack. He'll chomp through concepts to create products that will have your competition afraid to leap into sea of creativity.

Wonder Woman: For attention-getting design and speedy print production (without the slinky costume), Anya is our Quark, Photoshop and Illustrator girl wonder. Whether it's concept to completion for anything from or logos to brochures you need, Anya is the one to come to your rescue.

Mighty Mouse: Always performing amazing deeds when it comes to illustration, Layne's work will help your projects go up, up and away! From detailed maps to corporate icons, Layne's art will strengthen your message.

Spiderman: Our amazing web developer, Richard, has been weaving creations with his many skills that include: HTML, ASP, JavaScript, project management and technical writing. Richard will spin a site from which no one will want to escape.

Speed Racer: If speed is your need, our production specialist Michael will beat those deadlines to the finish. A whiz with Quark, 360's and endurance, Michael will quickly maneuver through your jobs. (Chim-Chim and Trixie not included.)

What makes Art Squad unique is the total package: Objective skills assessment testing and portfolio reviews for each Associate, personal experience in the creative field, market-driven rates and a genuine desire to learn about our clients and provide the exact match for their goals.

Does your neck or project need to be saved? Contact us to get your Super Hero today!

Peggy Smith, Branch Manager, pdsmith@artsquad.com
Wendy Anderson, Staffing Manager, wanderson@artsquad.com
Phone: 231-1886
www.artsquad.com


posted by belen 3:04 PM

free speech

sometimes you have to just sit and gawk at the opinions of others. free speech is a precious thing...and often, i think that in reading outrageous opinions, one sees more about their own beliefs and perhaps gets a glimpse into the minds of others, no matter how different from their own it is.

alex (zombie) sent out an email today with a link re: the creator of Cerebus - Dave Sims, and how he was off the deep end. and out of curiosity, i read the whole article he linked to. and i sat in awe of the material before me for heated debates in psycology, sociology, and women's issues classes all over the world. and then i realized that you cant even debate with an argument like this. the logic is so convoluted it is astounding.

i would find myself reading, and generally agreeing with a few of his points (even some of the harsher ones about, for example, women expecting alimony from their husbands, but claiming to be equal) and then all of a sudden, he would plunge off in a direct so ludicrous, all i could do was stare. he has a list of Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast that, when read apart from the essay, i would be inclined to at least partially agree with some of. but then he starts justifying them and all of a sudden, left field.

i dont think this asexual man could possibly have any friends...he has something awful and judgemental to say about *everyone* - women, husbands, boyfriends, gays, children and animals. its amazing. saying he needs therapy is a mindnumbing understatement. it makes me want to know all about his past and what molded this man.

so for your entertainment, i am going to give you brief excerpts of the 5 sections of his essay (with my comments in < >)...should you decide you would like to read this amazing piece of work yourself, you can find it at: http://www.tcj.com/232/tangent0.html

Tangent I:
The research which most contributed to my "ideas about women" was the series of informal interviews I conducted with mothers and daughters... It was really the first time in my adult life that I spoke to women who I found physically unattractive and the first time I spoke to women with any motive besides getting them into bed. <hrm, *this* is definately an interesting statement about his personality>

If "communication" within a group of women is working properly (as women see "working properly") everyone should be talking faster and faster and faster and in a higher and higher musical range - either portraying themselves or being (the two states being deemed interchangeable in the female world) cheerful, more cheerful, "cheerfulest" - until, maximum cheerfulness having been achieved, a glass breaks or something.

That was when I realized that women are emotion-based beings. <not a statement that i would vehemently deny>

For feminists, for wives, for women, for Emotion-based beings, it is a win/win/win/win situation. Either her husband a) capitulates to her views and, thus, places himself and his assets under her jurisdiction or b) portrays himself to her as having capitulated to her views and, thus, places himself and his assets under her jurisdiction or c) removes himself from her jurisdiction and surrenders half of his assets to her voluntarily or d) removes himself from her jurisdiction and is forced to surrender half of his assets to her by the courts

Women are the chauvinists, not men.

Tangent II:
In the second of my five "Tangents," I'd like to address what I see as the misapprehensions of those strangest of political bedfellows, the feminist-homosexualist axis.

If it was scarcely a match made in heaven, the two constituencies were, at least, "well met": with a shared unwillingness to perceive any reality larger than their own anecdotal prejudices, a shared tendency to deify emotions and feelings as the totems most central to their respective tribal groupings and a preternatural ability to simply ignore any view or opinion which did not reinforce those prejudices and which did not kowtow to those totems.

Although I flrmly believe, for the reasons stated, that the place for homosexuality - again homosexuality, not those who practice it - is at the margins of society and behind closed doors, I do not believe that homosexuality is necessarily a sin.

Tangent III:
(Leaving aside those males who, in the words of a cartoonist friend of mine, "aren't women trapped inside men's bodies - they're just crazy...")

No one wants to be a woman.

If, prior to our life on this earth, we were presented with the option of being male or female, a short description of the functions of the male versus the female genitalia (with emphasis on menstruation, menstrual cramps, PMS, labour pains, yeast infections, et al) would most certainly result in so vast a number of us choosing the male "equipment"

Taxing the limits of my own not-inconsiderable imagination, I have no doubt that had I a "little friend" who paid me such "visits" - in a desperate attempt to cling to what remained of my sanity in the aftershock of the full extent of the horrible news "sinking in," I am certain that I would very quickly set about the business of manufacturing a fairy-tale world for myself in which I was - in all other regards - indistinguishable from a gender which does not...

...leak?

No one wants to be a woman.

<he goes on to talk about how women want to make *everything* equal because they themselves are deperate to be equal>
Children, like adults, have inalienable human rights (goes the screw-loose approximation of female "reasoning") and must, therefore, be allowed full license to pursue - with the imposition of as few external limitations as possible - what children perceive to be their own best interests.

The feminine interpretation tends more in the direction of "...because children are, indeed, from Heaven and are pure and untainted and good and decent and true in all regards, full of pure love and joy and compassion and innocence, their utterances, likewise, are pure and untainted and good and decent and true in all regards and the sooner we can all set our hearts on a quest to find the purest and least minted and most decent six-year-old in the world and appoint him/her leader of the civilized world and do whatever he/she tells us to do without question, the sooner we will arrive at the utopia which is always just there over the rainhow."

Slow-witted to the point of catatonia as feminists have, time and again, proven themselves to be when their emotions tell them one thing ("absolute freedom makes children happy") and reason tells them another ("children need firm parentally-imposed discipline, both verbal and physical, and I, as a feminist, am not capable of administering either") there is little hope that this situation will change anytime soon. It is, as is always the case, foolish in the extreme for men to concede any philosophical territory to feminists for exactly that reason. Caught between what her emotions are telling her and what reason plainly indicates, a feminist is capable of vacillating for decades (if not centuries) before conceding any self-evident point.

Perhaps, but then a man is always aware that a baby is a baby and an adult is an adult It seems to me that men are culpable for missing - missing completely and thoroughly - that the same cannot be said of a woman's awareness. Considering how dramatically limited the female intellect is, yes, I think that men are very much to blame for allowing a profound misapprehension like that to flourish in the female "brain".

Tangent IV:
In the same sense that it is true that women see themselves as interchangeable with men, homosexualists as interchangeable with heterosexualists, children and babies as interchangeable with adults, it is also true, for the most part, that women believe that animals are interchangeable with human beings.

<this entire tangent is about how rediculous women are for believing in animal right.>

Here, again, the masculine gender must shoulder more than its fair share of the blame for this deplorable state of affairs, most especially for the historical decision to allow animals in the house. Clearly, this came about through the fault of fathers surrendering to the weakness they experience in dealing with their daughters. No lofty trajectory of the imagination is required to envision the centuries of pleading that must have gone into the winning of that first victory by a daughter over her father: inclement weather, undoubtedly, serving as the thin end of the wedge...

Clearly, when womankind sets what passes for its "mind" upon "crowding the centre," it seizes upon anything and everything: - homosexualists, babies, children, cats, dogs - to do so.

There is a certain hysteria (in its literal definition which so offends - and defines - feminists) which obtains here: a demented, histrionic quality of "if I can't be equal to you, then I will cast myself into the gutter" if a woman can't be a man, she will make herself interchangeable with homosexualists, with babies, with children, with cats and with dogs.

Tangent V:

<this entire tangent evolves around how women ruin men and their noble intentions>

Early the next evening, Martin Luther King was shot to death on the balcony outside his room at the Lorraine Motel.

Of course, Marian Logan's memo could have been just that: a memo. Perhaps it was nothing more...real...than that. Perhaps it was - as it appeared on the surface - that Marian Logan merely had some...hard questions...for Dr. or Reverend Martin Luther King. Hard questions that he had been evading since the early days of the Montgomery Improvement Association. Hard questions: not the least of which was "how non-violent can a movement be that knowingly courts violence as a means (television coverage) to an end (social change)?"

Or perhaps her hard questions were, in some context, latger still, so large that they caused the Civil Rights movement to slip from the hands of Martin Luther King, minister of the gospel message of Jesus Christ, a man chosen by God (can any believer, in retrospect, believe otherwise?) to bring equality and justice to the men of his race, to "speed up the day when all of God's children - black men and white men" (italics mine) might attain to the promise housed within the preamble to the United States Constitution that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal..." (italics mine)

...and through her memo, her hard questions, Marian Logan was the instrument which caused the Civil Rights movement to pass from Martin Luther King's hands - at the very threshold of destiny, on the very cusp of fulfillment, at the very dawning of that too-long-delayed day - first enunciated as a promise in the Constitution, clarified, subsequently, by Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation and, finally, made inevitable by the enshrining of the 13th Amendment abolishing, in 1870, slavery's last outpost on this continent...

...so that 1970 might evermore have been associated as both a centenary and a fulfillment of the black man finding his long-promised and too-long-delayed "place in the sun" of full equality with his white brothers: "Free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty we are free at last"...but instead...

Instead!

1970 would come to be synonymous with the onset of feminism, wherein the black man found his Civil Rights usurped by those who hold, instead, these poisonous, fairy-tale "truths" to be self-evident: that black men are interchangeable with black women and white women, that black men are interchangeable with homosexualists; that black men are interchangeable with children and with infants, that black men are interchangeable with babies, that black men are interchangeable with cats and that black men are interchangeable with dogs.

-----------------------------------------------------------

my friends,

this man truly believes that feminists, in a desperate attempt to survive "vagina repulsion", strive to defend gay rights, childrens rights, and animal rights, for the sole purpose of the end result of screwing men out of what they have/ deserve /desire/ strive for. Oh yah, and all husbands/ boyfriends/ men who dont agree are pussy-whipped.

amazing.
posted by belen 1:59 PM

8.22.2001

church humor

some of these were jsut too funny to pass up sharing :)

Classic CHURCH BULLETIN Bloopers

1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is
done.

4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.

5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.

8) Ushers will eat latecomers.

9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

17) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

18) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

19) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

20) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

21) Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

22) A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

23) Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

24) Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

25) On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

26) Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

27) Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

28) The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

29) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

30) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

31) The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

32) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

33) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

34) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

35) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

36) Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

37) Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

38) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

39) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

40) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

41) Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

42) The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

43) The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

but nothing can compare to the billboard in front of church by christine's house:

"GOD LIKES YOU BETTER ON YOUR KNEES"
posted by belen 6:22 PM

thank you letter for the interview

lets see if this helps to keep me in the forefront of his mind :)


Hi Scott...

Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today! The more I think about this job, the more I like the sound of it. I really feel like it is a position that I would enjoy greatly: the ability to mentor and teach, the opportunity to work with clients to establish their needs, being part of an initially small team to build a good rapoire and stability for further growth, and to be able to design for a project that will make a difference in the quality and ease of a lot of people's daily jobs on a long-term basis. It seems to me to be a culmination of all the goals I have held in my various careers, managing an office, teaching, and designing.

In short, the whole idea makes me very excited :)

What I wanted to mention is that if it came down the cost of relocation being a question, I would happily cover that cost to have this job. It would be a pleasant surprise and a joy to have the costs covered, but in this job search, I never expected it.

Thanks again for your time and good luck in your efforts to match the right people to the team.

Belen

(yes, i am now aware that i misspelled "rapport" - such is the pain of the anxious email sender who didnt spellcheck :| )
posted by belen 12:58 PM

religion

jason sent me this interesting link to a page that has a survey re: your religious beliefs...it draws from a database of the major world religions and tells you according ot its data, what percentage your beliefs agree with those religions (there are a *lot* more than i thought).

interesting questions, interesting answer options.

and the survey says my beliefs agree 100% with the New Age beliefs. <grins> i am destined to be a damn hippy :)

here is the link to the New Age beliefs...at the top is the link to the survey (Belief System Selector) if you are interested.
posted by belen 12:37 PM

interview

<grins> the interview went well :) *and* after talking with scott, i am really excited about the prospect of this position.

low-down:
since ecommerce and death promotion arent really high on the list of ways to market the industry, the design position focuses primarily on the construction on an intranet to unite the company's 600+ locations. it would involve working with the information architects and meeting with clients to identify needs, create the graphic interfaces and ensure consistancy throughout, work with production staff to troubleshoot and guide them in their work.

it will be a team of about 5 people initially, growing steadily. "Technology" is the buzz-word of choice...they are very interested in exploring all the options possible to make running the business more cost-effective through technology - novel concepts like online policy manuals :)

the position has the possibility to grow in any number of directions...really a "create your own path" kind of deal as the department grows.

scott lives in florida and telecommutes, coming to NOLA about 1 week a month. so one of his goals is to hire people who are a good fit, can self-direct and be trusted. he gave me a lot of insight into the company, and i really like what i heard...i was pleased to hear him mention people from other divisions with interests in programming/web stuff having the chance to try their hand at small projects to see if they were suited to cross over to the IT team. he said that the office environment was conservative but casual...so no suits, but no piercings either <sighs> i guess there are tradeoffs ;)

so they are interviewing a few local candidates (which he says usually arent an option, as the talent pool in NOLA is not usually what he needs in the way of skills) and some other out-of-state folks. once they make a decision, if the person is not local, then they will fly them in for an interview...if that goes well, then they pay for cost of relocation. wouldnt *that* be nice :)

we shall see, i suppose. i am *veryvery* interested in this job...i think the size, environment, team and goals will be interesting...it will be a challenge and it will be a huge stepping stone for the company. there is something about creating awareness about technology and making people's jobs easier that really hits my buttons. its what i loved about teaching: all those people who found out that there were easier, better ways to do the things that weighed them down at work. i feel like the opportunity i would have to teach, learn, grow and make a difference would be extremely rewarding.

<crosses fingers> lets hope that this works out :)

my horoscope today:

Virgo
You should be feeling recharged and reinvigorated by the fresh, new energy that should be coming your way today. It's a good time to focus on your own needs and desires and what you need to make your life more complete. Now is the time to take the initiative in all matters and to go after whatever you really want
posted by belen 12:18 PM

no holds barred

this is *excellent* :) a former white house advisor to clinton has given up his law career to be part of a a capella drag queen show :)

http://www.nytimes.com/2001/08/22/
arts/22DRAG.html?todaysheadlines

btw, its free to subscribe to the NYTimes...i rather like having headlines to glance ofer every day in my email :)
posted by belen 10:02 AM

8.20.2001

Porn 101

interesting article on professors at major universities across the nation teaching classes on the pornography industry: courses that are listed under sociology, women's studies, film, art, philosophy, english and others.

article in the boston globe
posted by belen 5:59 PM

<HOP-HOP-HOP>

i stayed up late with david last night, watching the season finale of X-files that he had borrowed from a friend (my god, i forgot what commercials looked like....i was glad i could fast-forward!). So at 2:30 in the morning, as moulder and scully kiss as he holds her tiny son in his protective arms, we flipped off the tv and crawled into bed.

i woke up this morning to The Phantom Caller Who Enjoys Calling and Hanging Up. i hate this person, whoever they are.

so i figured i might as well start my busy, pressing schedule <snickers>

i drag my sleepy self to my computer, jiggle the mouse to wake it up, glance at the email love from my sister and the spam that wont leave me alone.

i shuffle to the bathroom, brush my teeth, clean out my lip ring which is currently a bit infected (*yuck*), and shuffle back to my computer.

and lo-and-behold, there is an email re: web deign position.

<holds breath>

and it is from the funeral home company in New Orleans, requesting a phone interview this week!

<hopsupanddowndoesthehappydances-sitsaroundgrinninglikeanidiot>

would NOLA be close enough for my dear friends who miss me terribly?

here is the job posting:

Stewart Enterprises, Inc., the nation's third largest cemetery/ funeral home operator has an opening for a Web Designer in its Information Systems Department in Metairie. Desired qualifications include: 2-3 years professional experience; degree perferred; familiarity with Information Architecture and User Interface issues for the Web; strong expertise with HTML & CSS; JavaScript a plus; strong expertise with professional image editing software for the Web; Dreamweaver experience a plus. Quality writing and communication skills a plus. Excellent benefits package.

i'll let you know how the interview goes...
posted by belen 11:10 AM

The Cleverest Of Anagrams

An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.

The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has far too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.

George Bush: When you rearrange the letters:
He Bugs Gore

Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room

Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters:
Evil's Agent

Desperation: When you rearrange the letters:
A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code: When you rearrange the letters:
Here Come Dots

Slot Machines: When you rearrange the letters:
Cash Lost in Em

Animosity: When you rearrange the letters:
Is No Amity

Mother-in-law: When you rearrange the letters:
Woman Hitler

Snooze Alarms: When you rearrange the letters:
Alas! No More Z's

A Decimal Point: When you rearrange the letters:
I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes: When you rearrange the letters:
That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two: When you rearrange the letters:
Twelve plus one

And for the grand finale:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into:

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
posted by belen 10:51 AM

8.19.2001

lifestyle change

friends, what do you do on a sunday when there isnt much going on?

well, *i* took a field trip. you see, life without a car is a lot more leisurely...when you have to run errands, it ends up being your amusement for the day.

i needed to return a video and i needed Q-tips (and our *retarded* grocery store doesnt have any!). :) now, after reading this, you are not allowed to bitch about errand running. remember that it is what you make of it ;)

so after i ate some lunch and got some work done, i looked outside at the blue sky with fluffy white clouds with its delicious high of 75, and decided it was time to be off to run my errands. i threw on a tanktop and skirt, laced up my boots, put on my snoopy Joe Cool backpack, and was off.

i walked out of downtown, then by the lake, uuuuuuuuup the hill, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup another hill, meandered through a lovely neighborhood with pretty little houses, and finally arrived at the hollywood video to drop off the movie. then i forged in to the target just up the street (yes, folks, this entire segment of the journey is pretty much all uphill, most of it - thank god - at a reasonably gradual slope).

target - wheeee! i really have a thing for this store. so i puttered around target, picking up little things i needed and enjoyed the coolness of airconditioning after walking so much. so once i had had my fill of shopping (and knew that i could neither afford to buy *nor* carry more), i checkout out, filled my backpack, drank some water and began the very pleasant (downhill) journey home. the breeze was blowing, i was walking downhill, the sun peeked in and out of clouds, i was walking downhill, there were smiling people along the way...did i mention already that i was walking downhill?

and finally, 2 1/2 hours after my journey began, i had completed the 3.5 - 4 mile hike to return a video and get Qtips.

and to think, when i had to drive 5 minutes to return a video in austin, i could never seem to get it returned on time. my how things change!

i figured i needed to share this with you, just to show you how much perspective changes when you stimulate yourself with a new environment. it was a great day to be out and about, and i am actually glad to not have a car today.


posted by belen 5:32 PM

8.18.2001

best thing about a teenytiny apartment

without a doubt, the #1 best thing about a small apartment is the amount of time it takes to clean it.

i looked around today and thought "*blech* i really need to clean"...david is in seattle this weekend playing tennis and gaming with friends. and so tonight i was going to clean the house.

well, i started the monumental task at 5:30. and now, at 7pm, everything is scrubbed, brushed, vacuumed, put away, picked up and squeaky clean.

amazing.

poor dondi remembers when we would look around the house in austin and say "time to clean". it was a day and a half of gruelling work. but we always motivated ourselves with a party: we would decide it was time to scrub top to bottom...send out invites for people to come over that weekend, and then clean like mad to have the house ready :) it definately quelled procrastination...and we always ended up with a full liquor cabinet at the end of the party (our friends always gave more than they took...amazingly enough!)

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

on the sister front, mel has posted her first blogger entry, so i guess its time to throw open the doors :) here you go
posted by belen 7:07 PM

8.17.2001

my little girl

<sighs> mel arrived at school today, unpacked the car, and bid my parents goodbye.

my little girl is now all the way across the country in *COLLEGE*! i can hardly believe it.

i just set her up a blogger of her own...i'll give you the url once she is actually *doing* something with it <grins> i figure we have to give her about a week before she starts putting out for us :)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

on the work front, it looks like george needs additional help with Messy Fun (which i am also working to place all content in the new design conduit did for them...coming soon!) and Thursday Night Video, so hopefully that will mean some more hours for me :) i tell you, life is hard when you have to spend all day staring at beautiful women in various stages of undress. <laughs> i think he may want me to write reviews and descriptions of the videos as well...i must tell you that i am not complaining :)

"what did you do today belen?"

"me? oh, not much...sat around watching video tape of upskirt panty shots and mud wrestling, writing reviews and patting my...cat..."

<snickers> gives new meaning to "a hard days work" :)
posted by belen 11:42 PM

8.16.2001

The Interview

well, tuesday, i rented a car and trapsed into Seattle for an interview. (would you believe when i stepped outside at 9am, dressed in black velvet pants, a tank top, and a long sleeved, heavy button-up shirt, i was *COLD*? this place is crazy!)

it turned out i was interviewing for The Job From Hell <grins>

it was a web designer position for a firm that deals with adult content. i thought, "sure...i can do that!"

the reality:

  • they dealt in hard-core porn pay sites. - still no problem, i say :)

  • they have 70 pay sites currently...they want 200 by christmas - well, ok...that's a lot of work, but i could do it!

  • however, these site designs are to be done *after* the day-to-day stuff is done...ie - every banner on every page has to be replaced daily, the front entrance page for every site is replaced at least weekly, html mailers are spammed out to lists daily...the list went on and on. - hrm...all that, every day, *and* crank out 130 new sites in 4 months?

  • the current web design team is 2 people, one of whom is the head of the entire web development dept, and therefore has no time to design.

  • this new hire could be "an albatross around their necks" and they need someone who will create more revenue than they will burn. - mmmm...this makes me feel no pressure in entering this job :)

  • "you have to paint the mona lisa every day and then burn it the next morning" - this is how they describe the designing...explaining that you "can't be too attached to your work" - this translates to: "you have to be able to slam out half-assed designs all day every day."

i have to admit, they were very blunt about the conditions, what they needed, and how it would be. this, at least, was a good thing.

funny thing...the two i interviewed with were the 2 designers...one the head of the dept. the other guy, who wasnt the head, said very interesting things throughout the interview:

  • when the other woman stepped out a moment before the interview, i asked him how he was, and he replied, "its better than working! this is the most human contact i have had since i started here!" and then laughed akwardly and said he was joking. - <raises eyebrow> joke? i think not :)

  • we were talking about the pressures of the job and the pace and changes etc...he called the marketing manager (who works in LA rubbing elbows and signing deals) a "viper" (or some such word...i cant recall exactly) - i wanted so badly to smile and say "tell me how you *really* feel about him" :)

needless to say, i left that interview, and over coffee with david, i evaluated if i could do that kind of job. even if they paid a *ton* of money, i dont think i could lower my standards to churn out crap (not to mention, single-handedly design 70% of those annoying popups that i dispise!)

so i knew even before i got home that the job prospect was a bust. fortunately, they hired someone else (someone i am sure was elated at the idea of such a desirable position :)

well, back to the drawing board...
posted by belen 2:56 PM

8.13.2001

busy bee

well, i got the bug again to design, and since no one is *paying* me <grins> i decided to try a prototype site for the swimming pool management company i used to work for (Avant Garde Aquatics). they werent interested in a redesign when i talked to them, but i really needed a new portfolio piece, so i did one anyway :) for the last 2 weeks, i have been playing like a madwoman...designing, coding, revelling in dhtml dropdown menus, creating flash pieces, and writing content.

AGA has always brought out a certain level of pride in myself...after 5 years of working with them, they are family...and i would like nothing better than to be able to give them an online facelift. (current site is www.avantgardeaquatics.com) i know a lot about the industry, so i actually really enjoyed writing the content as well :)

so here we are...i have 3 pages coded into html and ready to show off in my portfolio...links within the site dont really work, so come back here to get to the viewable pages :) :

Home page - This page needed to appeal to 3 audiences coming to the site: the homeowner board members who choose new companies to manage their facilities, the patrons of the pools coming to see what programs etc the company offers, and lifeguards coming to get info before and during employement. the only thing i really had to start with was their logo.

Employees page - this was to show a subpage layout...again, main importance to highlight what that section of the site offers...draw in the target audience.

Job listing page - this is an internal content page...designed to be simple and just get info across.

anyway, i'm sure there are other things i could do, change, add, take out, nudge, adjust and nitpick over, but at this time, its really not profitable to do it. perhaps this will convince them that they cannot resist my charms and i can actually get *paid* to play with it more! (novel goal, isnt it?)

tomorrow is my job interview :) i get to play dressup tonight and see what i am going to wear. <wicked grin> i could always show up in my dom dress and demand a job...they are adult content after all, aren't they?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

i rarely ever get stuck on a specific food...i usually demand some variety and get very cranky if there is none to be had.

however, i am *SO* stuck on these breakfast wraps i have been making lately. i just cant get enough of them!

i cook up a morningstar farms breakfast sausage (fake meat - yay!), a few tater tots, 1 egg (scrambled), toss them all together, chopping it all up into a comglomerated heap. then i warm up the big yummy tomato basil wrap tortilla with some mozerella cheese in it in the microwave for about 30 sec. pull out the wrap, put the goop in the middle, put chopped chives and salsa on top and then roll it all together. they are so tasty and so filling :)

<mouth waters> speaking of, i think i will go make one now for dinner :)
posted by belen 6:32 PM

8.10.2001

when it rains it pours...

so, i deemed yesterday smut day, but i had no clue how right i was!

yesterday morning, i recieved a strange email failure notice saying that an email had bounced...the message was in spanish and *obviously* not one i had sent.

i poked jerry (my server god) about it and he had no answers, so i ignored it.

this morning, i had about 40 emails confirming (in spanish) that i had placed classified ads at all these online resources for a person named "Laura Belen" with the email address 1233@belen.net. apparently she is from madrid spain...and her classfied ad consists of her name (a different last name, mind you), her phone number and the message "conversation".

jesus christ! so now, not only am i asked to partcipate in peddlng smut (which i certainly dont mind), someone is peddling *thier* smut using *my* email! so jerry blocked the email for me...good man that he is.

<shakes head> what a day...when it rains, it pours!
posted by belen 10:55 AM

8.9.2001

breakthrough!

what a day <grins>

its raining adult websites :) a friend with a very successful adult site called today to ask if we were interested in doing some work with her...*and* i got an email today from one of my resumes out, for a position as a designer for a firm that deals primarily in adult content sites.

i guess i am just destined to be swept into the arms of peddling smut :) donna would be proud!

we shall see how these opportunities go...anything that pays the bills at this point would be welcomed!

cross your fingers!
posted by belen 5:45 PM

8.5.2001

a moment to rant

something has become frighteningly apparent in my continued job search. there are a *LOT* of delusional employers in the world.

i cannot count the number of job descriptions i have read where employers want a high-end web designer with 5+ years of experience who are heavy-hitting programmers. anyone who knows designers and programmers knows that it is close to *impossible* to get both a *good* designer and a *good* programmer wrapped up in one nice neat package.

one ad left me gawking at the screen in disbelief. they spent 2 paragraphs talking about how they wanted a stellar deisgner with a flair for originality, a proven portfolio, the ability to think out of the box, to bring their department to new levels of design. and then in the required skills, they listed, specifically that they wanted high level proficiency in C++, Java, ASP, SQL, etc and then said it would be a "PLUS" if they had photoshop, illustrator and web design skills. WTF?

i just dont get it. what kind of crack are these people smoking? it makes me want to see what resumes are coming across their desk.

of course, i also saw an ad that linked to a website that claimed that you could "get rich being a web designer" with "no previous experience". apparently, you just pick a template, plug in the companies name, it spits out a website and you "sell it for $250 to $500 or more!"

it makes me want to barf.
posted by belen 7:06 PM

8.4.2001

pure joy

there are moments in my life that let me know that, even with speedbumps, i am doing something very right.

last night, david and i spent 7 hours reading out loud to each other. we had movies to watch, other stuff that could have occupied our time, but the book was so good...and so we sat in candlelight, reading and enjoying what has to be one of the most simple, beautiful pleasures in life.

i dont really miss cable, going out to movies and all the other things that take much money and little personal effort. i am lucky to be able to appreciate this kind of quality time with someone. i am definately doing *something* right.
posted by belen 3:27 PM

8.2.2001

sneak

sometimes those old memories just sneak up on you..triggered by this, that or the other.

funny what we block out. i made a rather bitter reference to my friends in high school (not all, mind you), and then i had to stop and ask why. and the first thing that came to mind surprised me.

so i wrote about it in Moments. (Friends)

so much to say about that little bit of writing.

but it all comes down to one thing. without really meaning to, they hurt me so much. i can see why they said what they did. i can see why they found it funny. perhaps i asked for that reputation.

despite what any parent fears, or what any teenager thinks at the time, exploring your sexuality in high school is *not* cool. its not ok to have lovers who arent your boyfriend. its *not* ok to talk about sex openly. and its definately not ok to be the initiator.

and even if people are still your friends and even love you, they will not want someone like you influencing their children.

for someone who wanted more than anything to be loved...who was terrified of never being good enough for true love...who was so painfully insecure...who was *17*...to be told this by the only people who knew her and accepted her was bone-crushing.

perhaps this is the reason i never made much effort to know those people after high school let us part ways. i never fit there...i was never really part of them. we had some great times. but i was different. and there were times when they made me feel that to my core.

my life doesnt exist in their world. its better that way.
posted by belen 8:10 PM

8.1.2001

sousa marches

i never thought i would again ever be assaulted by sousa marches after years of enduring them in band. and yet, here we are...with marches being played in the park across the street. my senses are whirling.

for those of you who never had to follow the repeat signs in a neverending voyage through a march in search of a coda to end the madness, just stare at me as though i am nuts...*you* dont know our pain.

i also saw high tide today. i didnt *think* i had been missing it, but the water is a good 15 feet higher than i am used to seeing it. crazy!
posted by belen 6:11 PM