freeing a soul
: august 2001
8.31.2001
"Cat Haikus"
(these are so true and so wonderful :)
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere
Will find in morning.
Grace personififed.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.
Blur of motion, then -
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?
The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds -
Your foot just squashed one.
You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.
My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.
Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper?"
Small brace carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.
I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?
Oh no! Big One has been
Trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.
Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"
The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"
posted by belen 10:52 PM
8.28.2001
fucking rediculous
i just had a fight with our printer and it won, stupid goddamn cocksucker.
yes, i am annoyed beyond words.
my computer hates everything. so while the other 2 computers in the
house will play nicely with the printer, mine wont.
while the other computers recognize each other in the Network, mine
wont.
so david is in Chicago, and i needed to print a letter (written in
Word of course). well, usually i forward him stuff in email and he prints
for me. (technology at its best)
but since he and his computer are gone, i was left to fight with the
other desktop, which is not very nice either.
so i attach the doc to an email and send to my hotmail account.
i go to the other computer and open my hotmail, download the file,
and then find out that the goddman machine doesnt have Word.
shit.
so i go back to my computer, reformat the letter into a text document
so i can open it in notepad <rolls eyes>
go to the other computer, check my hotmail, download file, and the
damn browser opens it automatically with the goddamn hotmail header
at the top.
fuck.
so i try to pull it into notepad and print and it looks like ass.
<stompstompstompstomp>
so then i do what any web designer would do in this situation:
i took the letter, formatted it as an html page, uploaded it to the
server, pulled it up on the other computers browser and printed the
motherfucker.
i dont know if i have been this annoyed in a long long time.
posted by belen 6:35 PM
8.25.2001
dream house
i want a treehouse.
for as long as i can remember, i have been fascinated by the idea of
living in a treehouse someday.
and today, i stopped by the bookstore and in the window, there was
a book about treehouses...even talked about how to build. there were
these *fabulous* pictures of treehouses.
i was in love.
most in the book were in hawaii or the pacific northwest.
cozy little houses.
big grand multi-level houses.
houses with decks all around them.
i want a treehouse with a huge beuatiful garden below it. i want to
look down from my balcony and see my flowers blooming, my vegetables
growing, my bushes....bushing?
this is my dream.
david wants a boat. so i figure between our two desires, we could quite
possibly end up with the most eclectic lifestyle choices imaginable
:)
posted by belen 4:47 PM
8.24.2001
ArtSquad spam
this is the cutest marketing spam i have ever seen :)
Faster than a crashing network, more powerful than a G4, able to
leap through deadlines with a single pot of coffee...it's the Super
Heroes of Art Squad!
Aquaman: For several seasons, Mike art directed and produced award-winning
work for Discovery Channel's Shark Attack. He'll chomp through concepts
to create products that will have your competition afraid to leap
into sea of creativity.
Wonder Woman: For attention-getting design and speedy print production
(without the slinky costume), Anya is our Quark, Photoshop and Illustrator
girl wonder. Whether it's concept to completion for anything from
or logos to brochures you need, Anya is the one to come to your rescue.
Mighty Mouse: Always performing amazing deeds when it comes to illustration,
Layne's work will help your projects go up, up and away! From detailed
maps to corporate icons, Layne's art will strengthen your message.
Spiderman: Our amazing web developer, Richard, has been weaving creations
with his many skills that include: HTML, ASP, JavaScript, project
management and technical writing. Richard will spin a site from which
no one will want to escape.
Speed Racer: If speed is your need, our production specialist Michael
will beat those deadlines to the finish. A whiz with Quark, 360's
and endurance, Michael will quickly maneuver through your jobs. (Chim-Chim
and Trixie not included.)
What makes Art Squad unique is the total package: Objective skills
assessment testing and portfolio reviews for each Associate, personal
experience in the creative field, market-driven rates and a genuine
desire to learn about our clients and provide the exact match for
their goals.
Does your neck or project need to be saved? Contact us to get your
Super Hero today!
Peggy Smith, Branch Manager, pdsmith@artsquad.com
Wendy Anderson, Staffing Manager, wanderson@artsquad.com
Phone: 231-1886
www.artsquad.com
posted by belen 3:04 PM
free speech
sometimes you have to just sit and gawk at the opinions of others.
free speech is a precious thing...and often, i think that in reading
outrageous opinions, one sees more about their own beliefs and perhaps
gets a glimpse into the minds of others, no matter how different from
their own it is.
alex (zombie) sent out an email today with a link re: the creator of
Cerebus - Dave Sims, and how he was off the deep end. and out of curiosity,
i read the whole article he linked to. and i sat in awe of the material
before me for heated debates in psycology, sociology, and women's issues
classes all over the world. and then i realized that you cant even debate
with an argument like this. the logic is so convoluted it is astounding.
i would find myself reading, and generally agreeing with a few of his
points (even some of the harsher ones about, for example, women expecting
alimony from their husbands, but claiming to be equal) and then all
of a sudden, he would plunge off in a direct so ludicrous, all i could
do was stare. he has a list of Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast
that, when read apart from the essay, i would be inclined to at least
partially agree with some of. but then he starts justifying them and
all of a sudden, left field.
i dont think this asexual man could possibly have any friends...he
has something awful and judgemental to say about *everyone* - women,
husbands, boyfriends, gays, children and animals. its amazing. saying
he needs therapy is a mindnumbing understatement. it makes me want to
know all about his past and what molded this man.
so for your entertainment, i am going to give you brief excerpts of
the 5 sections of his essay (with my comments in < >)...should
you decide you would like to read this amazing piece of work yourself,
you can find it at: http://www.tcj.com/232/tangent0.html
Tangent I:
The research which most contributed to my "ideas about women" was the
series of informal interviews I conducted with mothers and daughters...
It was really the first time in my adult life that I spoke to women
who I found physically unattractive and the first time I spoke to women
with any motive besides getting them into bed. <hrm, *this* is definately
an interesting statement about his personality>
If "communication" within a group of women is working properly (as
women see "working properly") everyone should be talking faster and
faster and faster and in a higher and higher musical range - either
portraying themselves or being (the two states being deemed interchangeable
in the female world) cheerful, more cheerful, "cheerfulest" - until,
maximum cheerfulness having been achieved, a glass breaks or something.
That was when I realized that women are emotion-based beings. <not
a statement that i would vehemently deny>
For feminists, for wives, for women, for Emotion-based beings, it is
a win/win/win/win situation. Either her husband a) capitulates to her
views and, thus, places himself and his assets under her jurisdiction
or b) portrays himself to her as having capitulated to her views and,
thus, places himself and his assets under her jurisdiction or c) removes
himself from her jurisdiction and surrenders half of his assets to her
voluntarily or d) removes himself from her jurisdiction and is forced
to surrender half of his assets to her by the courts
Women are the chauvinists, not men.
Tangent II:
In the second of my five "Tangents," I'd like to address what I see
as the misapprehensions of those strangest of political bedfellows,
the feminist-homosexualist axis.
If it was scarcely a match made in heaven, the two constituencies were,
at least, "well met": with a shared unwillingness to perceive any reality
larger than their own anecdotal prejudices, a shared tendency to deify
emotions and feelings as the totems most central to their respective
tribal groupings and a preternatural ability to simply ignore any view
or opinion which did not reinforce those prejudices and which did not
kowtow to those totems.
Although I flrmly believe, for the reasons stated, that the place for
homosexuality - again homosexuality, not those who practice it - is
at the margins of society and behind closed doors, I do not believe
that homosexuality is necessarily a sin.
Tangent III:
(Leaving aside those males who, in the words of a cartoonist friend
of mine, "aren't women trapped inside men's bodies - they're just crazy...")
No one wants to be a woman.
If, prior to our life on this earth, we were presented with the option
of being male or female, a short description of the functions of the
male versus the female genitalia (with emphasis on menstruation, menstrual
cramps, PMS, labour pains, yeast infections, et al) would most certainly
result in so vast a number of us choosing the male "equipment"
Taxing the limits of my own not-inconsiderable imagination, I have
no doubt that had I a "little friend" who paid me such "visits" - in
a desperate attempt to cling to what remained of my sanity in the aftershock
of the full extent of the horrible news "sinking in," I am certain that
I would very quickly set about the business of manufacturing a fairy-tale
world for myself in which I was - in all other regards - indistinguishable
from a gender which does not...
...leak?
No one wants to be a woman.
<he goes on to talk about how women want to make *everything* equal
because they themselves are deperate to be equal>
Children, like adults, have inalienable human rights (goes the screw-loose
approximation of female "reasoning") and must, therefore, be allowed
full license to pursue - with the imposition of as few external limitations
as possible - what children perceive to be their own best interests.
The feminine interpretation tends more in the direction of "...because
children are, indeed, from Heaven and are pure and untainted and good
and decent and true in all regards, full of pure love and joy and compassion
and innocence, their utterances, likewise, are pure and untainted and
good and decent and true in all regards and the sooner we can all set
our hearts on a quest to find the purest and least minted and most decent
six-year-old in the world and appoint him/her leader of the civilized
world and do whatever he/she tells us to do without question, the sooner
we will arrive at the utopia which is always just there over the rainhow."
Slow-witted to the point of catatonia as feminists have, time and again,
proven themselves to be when their emotions tell them one thing ("absolute
freedom makes children happy") and reason tells them another ("children
need firm parentally-imposed discipline, both verbal and physical, and
I, as a feminist, am not capable of administering either") there is
little hope that this situation will change anytime soon. It is, as
is always the case, foolish in the extreme for men to concede any philosophical
territory to feminists for exactly that reason. Caught between what
her emotions are telling her and what reason plainly indicates, a feminist
is capable of vacillating for decades (if not centuries) before conceding
any self-evident point.
Perhaps, but then a man is always aware that a baby is a baby and an
adult is an adult It seems to me that men are culpable for missing -
missing completely and thoroughly - that the same cannot be said of
a woman's awareness. Considering how dramatically limited the female
intellect is, yes, I think that men are very much to blame for allowing
a profound misapprehension like that to flourish in the female "brain".
Tangent IV:
In the same sense that it is true that women see themselves as interchangeable
with men, homosexualists as interchangeable with heterosexualists, children
and babies as interchangeable with adults, it is also true, for the
most part, that women believe that animals are interchangeable with
human beings.
<this entire tangent is about how rediculous women are for believing
in animal right.>
Here, again, the masculine gender must shoulder more than its fair
share of the blame for this deplorable state of affairs, most especially
for the historical decision to allow animals in the house. Clearly,
this came about through the fault of fathers surrendering to the weakness
they experience in dealing with their daughters. No lofty trajectory
of the imagination is required to envision the centuries of pleading
that must have gone into the winning of that first victory by a daughter
over her father: inclement weather, undoubtedly, serving as the thin
end of the wedge...
Clearly, when womankind sets what passes for its "mind" upon "crowding
the centre," it seizes upon anything and everything: - homosexualists,
babies, children, cats, dogs - to do so.
There is a certain hysteria (in its literal definition which so offends
- and defines - feminists) which obtains here: a demented, histrionic
quality of "if I can't be equal to you, then I will cast myself into
the gutter" if a woman can't be a man, she will make herself interchangeable
with homosexualists, with babies, with children, with cats and with
dogs.
Tangent V:
<this entire tangent evolves around how women ruin men and their
noble intentions>
Early the next evening, Martin Luther King was shot to death on the
balcony outside his room at the Lorraine Motel.
Of course, Marian Logan's memo could have been just that: a memo. Perhaps
it was nothing more...real...than that. Perhaps it was - as it appeared
on the surface - that Marian Logan merely had some...hard questions...for
Dr. or Reverend Martin Luther King. Hard questions that he had been
evading since the early days of the Montgomery Improvement Association.
Hard questions: not the least of which was "how non-violent can a movement
be that knowingly courts violence as a means (television coverage) to
an end (social change)?"
Or perhaps her hard questions were, in some context, latger still,
so large that they caused the Civil Rights movement to slip from the
hands of Martin Luther King, minister of the gospel message of Jesus
Christ, a man chosen by God (can any believer, in retrospect, believe
otherwise?) to bring equality and justice to the men of his race, to
"speed up the day when all of God's children - black men and white men"
(italics mine) might attain to the promise housed within the preamble
to the United States Constitution that "We hold these truths to be self-evident,
that all men are created equal..." (italics mine)
...and through her memo, her hard questions, Marian Logan was the instrument
which caused the Civil Rights movement to pass from Martin Luther King's
hands - at the very threshold of destiny, on the very cusp of fulfillment,
at the very dawning of that too-long-delayed day - first enunciated
as a promise in the Constitution, clarified, subsequently, by Abraham
Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation and, finally, made inevitable by
the enshrining of the 13th Amendment abolishing, in 1870, slavery's
last outpost on this continent...
...so that 1970 might evermore have been associated as both a centenary
and a fulfillment of the black man finding his long-promised and too-long-delayed
"place in the sun" of full equality with his white brothers: "Free at
last, free at last, Thank God Almighty we are free at last"...but instead...
Instead!
1970 would come to be synonymous with the onset of feminism, wherein
the black man found his Civil Rights usurped by those who hold, instead,
these poisonous, fairy-tale "truths" to be self-evident: that black
men are interchangeable with black women and white women, that black
men are interchangeable with homosexualists; that black men are interchangeable
with children and with infants, that black men are interchangeable with
babies, that black men are interchangeable with cats and that black
men are interchangeable with dogs.
-----------------------------------------------------------
my friends,
this man truly believes that feminists, in a desperate attempt to survive
"vagina repulsion", strive to defend gay rights, childrens rights, and
animal rights, for the sole purpose of the end result of screwing men
out of what they have/ deserve /desire/ strive for. Oh yah, and all
husbands/ boyfriends/ men who dont agree are pussy-whipped.
amazing.
posted by belen 1:59 PM
8.22.2001
church humor
some of these were jsut too funny to pass up sharing :)
Classic CHURCH BULLETIN Bloopers
1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on
people who are not afflicted with any church.
3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is
done.
4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.
5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday morning.
6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m.
Please use the back door.
8) Ushers will eat latecomers.
9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical
accomplishment.
10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have
a nursery downstairs.
11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the
audience.
12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege
of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.
The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will
be discontinued until further notice.
16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
17) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich
Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
18) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
19) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in
the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited
to attend this tragedy.
20) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special
thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening
at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
21) Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at
the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and
Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
22) A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
23) Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full
choir.
24) Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace
Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
25) On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD
Dr. Hargreaves is better.
26) Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
27) Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
28) The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
29) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
30) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
31) The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning
to join the choir.
32) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing
for the girth of their first child.
33) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door
at the side entrance.
34) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth
of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
35) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north
ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
36) Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
milk will please come early.
37) Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister
in his private study.
38) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar.
39) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind
and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
40) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
41) Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
42) The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes,
green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
43) The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
but nothing can compare to the billboard in front of church by christine's
house:
"GOD LIKES YOU BETTER ON YOUR KNEES"
posted by belen 6:22 PM
thank you letter for the interview
lets see if this helps to keep me in the forefront of his mind :)
Hi Scott...
Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today! The more I think
about this job, the more I like the sound of it. I really feel like
it is a position that I would enjoy greatly: the ability to mentor
and teach, the opportunity to work with clients to establish their
needs, being part of an initially small team to build a good rapoire
and stability for further growth, and to be able to design for a project
that will make a difference in the quality and ease of a lot of people's
daily jobs on a long-term basis. It seems to me to be a culmination
of all the goals I have held in my various careers, managing an office,
teaching, and designing.
In short, the whole idea makes me very excited :)
What I wanted to mention is that if it came down the cost of relocation
being a question, I would happily cover that cost to have this job.
It would be a pleasant surprise and a joy to have the costs covered,
but in this job search, I never expected it.
Thanks again for your time and good luck in your efforts to match
the right people to the team.
Belen
(yes, i am now aware that i misspelled "rapport" - such is the pain
of the anxious email sender who didnt spellcheck :| )
posted by belen 12:58 PM
religion
jason sent me this interesting link to a page that has a survey re:
your religious beliefs...it draws from a database of the major world
religions and tells you according ot its data, what percentage your
beliefs agree with those religions (there are a *lot* more than i thought).
interesting questions, interesting answer options.
and the survey says my beliefs agree 100% with the New Age beliefs.
<grins> i am destined to be a damn hippy :)
here is the link to the New
Age beliefs...at the top is the link to the survey (Belief System
Selector) if you are interested.
posted by belen 12:37 PM
interview
<grins> the interview went well :) *and* after talking with scott,
i am really excited about the prospect of this position.
low-down:
since ecommerce and death promotion arent really high on the list of
ways to market the industry, the design position focuses primarily on
the construction on an intranet to unite the company's 600+ locations.
it would involve working with the information architects and meeting
with clients to identify needs, create the graphic interfaces and ensure
consistancy throughout, work with production staff to troubleshoot and
guide them in their work.
it will be a team of about 5 people initially, growing steadily. "Technology"
is the buzz-word of choice...they are very interested in exploring all
the options possible to make running the business more cost-effective
through technology - novel concepts like online policy manuals :)
the position has the possibility to grow in any number of directions...really
a "create your own path" kind of deal as the department grows.
scott lives in florida and telecommutes, coming to NOLA about 1 week
a month. so one of his goals is to hire people who are a good fit, can
self-direct and be trusted. he gave me a lot of insight into the company,
and i really like what i heard...i was pleased to hear him mention people
from other divisions with interests in programming/web stuff having
the chance to try their hand at small projects to see if they were suited
to cross over to the IT team. he said that the office environment was
conservative but casual...so no suits, but no piercings either <sighs>
i guess there are tradeoffs ;)
so they are interviewing a few local candidates (which he says usually
arent an option, as the talent pool in NOLA is not usually what he needs
in the way of skills) and some other out-of-state folks. once they make
a decision, if the person is not local, then they will fly them in for
an interview...if that goes well, then they pay for cost of relocation.
wouldnt *that* be nice :)
we shall see, i suppose. i am *veryvery* interested in this job...i
think the size, environment, team and goals will be interesting...it
will be a challenge and it will be a huge stepping stone for the company.
there is something about creating awareness about technology and making
people's jobs easier that really hits my buttons. its what i loved about
teaching: all those people who found out that there were easier, better
ways to do the things that weighed them down at work. i feel like the
opportunity i would have to teach, learn, grow and make a difference
would be extremely rewarding.
<crosses fingers> lets hope that this works out :)
my horoscope today:
Virgo
You should be feeling recharged and reinvigorated by the fresh, new
energy that should be coming your way today. It's a good time to focus
on your own needs and desires and what you need to make your life more
complete. Now is the time to take the initiative in all matters and
to go after whatever you really want
posted by belen 12:18 PM
no holds barred
this is *excellent* :) a former white house advisor to clinton has
given up his law career to be part of a a capella drag queen show :)
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/08/22/
arts/22DRAG.html?todaysheadlines
btw, its free to subscribe to the NYTimes...i rather like having headlines
to glance ofer every day in my email :)
posted by belen 10:02 AM
8.20.2001
Porn 101
interesting article on professors at major universities across the
nation teaching classes on the pornography industry: courses that are
listed under sociology, women's studies, film, art, philosophy, english
and others.
article
in the boston globe
posted by belen 5:59 PM
<HOP-HOP-HOP>
i stayed up late with david last night, watching the season finale
of X-files that he had borrowed from a friend (my god, i forgot what
commercials looked like....i was glad i could fast-forward!). So at
2:30 in the morning, as moulder and scully kiss as he holds her tiny
son in his protective arms, we flipped off the tv and crawled into bed.
i woke up this morning to The Phantom Caller Who Enjoys Calling and
Hanging Up. i hate this person, whoever they are.
so i figured i might as well start my busy, pressing schedule <snickers>
i drag my sleepy self to my computer, jiggle the mouse to wake it up,
glance at the email love from my sister and the spam that wont leave
me alone.
i shuffle to the bathroom, brush my teeth, clean out my lip ring which
is currently a bit infected (*yuck*), and shuffle back to my computer.
and lo-and-behold, there is an email re: web deign position.
<holds breath>
and it is from the funeral home company in New Orleans, requesting
a phone interview this week!
<hopsupanddowndoesthehappydances-sitsaroundgrinninglikeanidiot>
would NOLA be close enough for my dear friends who miss me terribly?
here is the job posting:
Stewart Enterprises, Inc., the nation's third largest cemetery/ funeral
home operator has an opening for a Web Designer in its Information
Systems Department in Metairie. Desired qualifications include: 2-3
years professional experience; degree perferred; familiarity with
Information Architecture and User Interface issues for the Web; strong
expertise with HTML & CSS; JavaScript a plus; strong expertise with
professional image editing software for the Web; Dreamweaver experience
a plus. Quality writing and communication skills a plus. Excellent
benefits package.
i'll let you know how the interview goes...
posted by belen 11:10 AM
The Cleverest Of Anagrams
An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing
or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.
The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has
far too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
George Bush: When you rearrange the letters:
He Bugs Gore
Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room
Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters:
Evil's Agent
Desperation: When you rearrange the letters:
A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code: When you rearrange the letters:
Here Come Dots
Slot Machines: When you rearrange the letters:
Cash Lost in Em
Animosity: When you rearrange the letters:
Is No Amity
Mother-in-law: When you rearrange the letters:
Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms: When you rearrange the letters:
Alas! No More Z's
A Decimal Point: When you rearrange the letters:
I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes: When you rearrange the letters:
That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two: When you rearrange the letters:
Twelve plus one
And for the grand finale:
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA
It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter
only once) into:
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
posted by belen 10:51 AM
8.19.2001
lifestyle change
friends, what do you do on a sunday when there isnt much going on?
well, *i* took a field trip. you see, life without a car is a lot more
leisurely...when you have to run errands, it ends up being your amusement
for the day.
i needed to return a video and i needed Q-tips (and our *retarded*
grocery store doesnt have any!). :) now, after reading this, you are
not allowed to bitch about errand running. remember that it is what
you make of it ;)
so after i ate some lunch and got some work done, i looked outside
at the blue sky with fluffy white clouds with its delicious high of
75, and decided it was time to be off to run my errands. i threw on
a tanktop and skirt, laced up my boots, put on my snoopy Joe Cool backpack,
and was off.
i walked out of downtown, then by the lake, uuuuuuuuup the hill, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup
another hill, meandered through a lovely neighborhood with pretty little
houses, and finally arrived at the hollywood video to drop off the movie.
then i forged in to the target just up the street (yes, folks, this
entire segment of the journey is pretty much all uphill, most of it
- thank god - at a reasonably gradual slope).
target - wheeee! i really have a thing for this store. so i puttered
around target, picking up little things i needed and enjoyed the coolness
of airconditioning after walking so much. so once i had had my fill
of shopping (and knew that i could neither afford to buy *nor* carry
more), i checkout out, filled my backpack, drank some water and began
the very pleasant (downhill) journey home. the breeze was blowing, i
was walking downhill, the sun peeked in and out of clouds, i was walking
downhill, there were smiling people along the way...did i mention already
that i was walking downhill?
and finally, 2 1/2 hours after my journey began, i had completed the
3.5 - 4 mile hike to return a video and get Qtips.
and to think, when i had to drive 5 minutes to return a video in austin,
i could never seem to get it returned on time. my how things change!
i figured i needed to share this with you, just to show you how much
perspective changes when you stimulate yourself with a new environment.
it was a great day to be out and about, and i am actually glad to not
have a car today.
posted by belen 5:32 PM
8.18.2001
best thing about a teenytiny apartment
without a doubt, the #1 best thing about a small apartment is the amount
of time it takes to clean it.
i looked around today and thought "*blech* i really need to clean"...david
is in seattle this weekend playing tennis and gaming with friends. and
so tonight i was going to clean the house.
well, i started the monumental task at 5:30. and now, at 7pm, everything
is scrubbed, brushed, vacuumed, put away, picked up and squeaky clean.
amazing.
poor dondi remembers when we would look around the house in austin
and say "time to clean". it was a day and a half of gruelling work.
but we always motivated ourselves with a party: we would decide it was
time to scrub top to bottom...send out invites for people to come over
that weekend, and then clean like mad to have the house ready :) it
definately quelled procrastination...and we always ended up with a full
liquor cabinet at the end of the party (our friends always gave more
than they took...amazingly enough!)
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on the sister front, mel has posted her first blogger entry, so i guess
its time to throw open the doors :) here you go
posted by belen 7:07 PM
8.17.2001
my little girl
<sighs> mel arrived at school today, unpacked the car, and bid
my parents goodbye.
my little girl is now all the way across the country in *COLLEGE*!
i can hardly believe it.
i just set her up a blogger of her own...i'll give you the url once
she is actually *doing* something with it <grins> i figure we
have to give her about a week before she starts putting out for us :)
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
on the work front, it looks like george needs additional help with
Messy Fun (which
i am also working to place all content in the new design conduit did
for them...coming soon!) and Thursday
Night Video, so hopefully that will mean some more hours for me
:) i tell you, life is hard when you have to spend all day staring at
beautiful women in various stages of undress. <laughs> i think
he may want me to write reviews and descriptions of the videos as well...i
must tell you that i am not complaining :)
"what did you do today belen?"
"me? oh, not much...sat around watching video tape of upskirt panty
shots and mud wrestling, writing reviews and patting my...cat..."
<snickers> gives new meaning to "a hard days work" :)
posted by belen 11:42 PM
8.16.2001
The Interview
well, tuesday, i rented a car and trapsed into Seattle for an interview.
(would you believe when i stepped outside at 9am, dressed in black velvet
pants, a tank top, and a long sleeved, heavy button-up shirt, i was
*COLD*? this place is crazy!)
it turned out i was interviewing for The Job From Hell <grins>
it was a web designer position for a firm that deals with adult content.
i thought, "sure...i can do that!"
the reality:
-
they dealt in hard-core porn pay sites. - still no problem, i say
:)
-
they have 70 pay sites currently...they want 200 by christmas -
well, ok...that's a lot of work, but i could do it!
-
however, these site designs are to be done *after* the day-to-day
stuff is done...ie - every banner on every page has to be replaced
daily, the front entrance page for every site is replaced at least
weekly, html mailers are spammed out to lists daily...the list went
on and on. - hrm...all that, every day, *and* crank out 130 new
sites in 4 months?
-
the current web design team is 2 people, one of whom is the head
of the entire web development dept, and therefore has no time to
design.
-
this new hire could be "an albatross around their necks" and they
need someone who will create more revenue than they will burn. -
mmmm...this makes me feel no pressure in entering this job :)
-
"you have to paint the mona lisa every day and then burn it the
next morning" - this is how they describe the designing...explaining
that you "can't be too attached to your work" - this translates
to: "you have to be able to slam out half-assed designs all day
every day."
i have to admit, they were very blunt about the conditions, what they
needed, and how it would be. this, at least, was a good thing.
funny thing...the two i interviewed with were the 2 designers...one
the head of the dept. the other guy, who wasnt the head, said very interesting
things throughout the interview:
-
when the other woman stepped out a moment before the interview,
i asked him how he was, and he replied, "its better than working!
this is the most human contact i have had since i started here!"
and then laughed akwardly and said he was joking. - <raises eyebrow>
joke? i think not :)
-
we were talking about the pressures of the job and the pace and
changes etc...he called the marketing manager (who works in LA rubbing
elbows and signing deals) a "viper" (or some such word...i cant
recall exactly) - i wanted so badly to smile and say "tell me how
you *really* feel about him" :)
needless to say, i left that interview, and over coffee with david,
i evaluated if i could do that kind of job. even if they paid a *ton*
of money, i dont think i could lower my standards to churn out crap
(not to mention, single-handedly design 70% of those annoying popups
that i dispise!)
so i knew even before i got home that the job prospect was a bust.
fortunately, they hired someone else (someone i am sure was elated at
the idea of such a desirable position :)
well, back to the drawing board...
posted by belen 2:56 PM
8.13.2001
busy bee
well, i got the bug again to design, and since no one is *paying* me
<grins> i decided to try a prototype site for the swimming pool
management company i used to work for (Avant Garde Aquatics). they werent
interested in a redesign when i talked to them, but i really needed
a new portfolio piece, so i did one anyway :) for the last 2 weeks,
i have been playing like a madwoman...designing, coding, revelling in
dhtml dropdown menus, creating flash pieces, and writing content.
AGA has always brought out a certain level of pride in myself...after
5 years of working with them, they are family...and i would like nothing
better than to be able to give them an online facelift. (current site
is www.avantgardeaquatics.com)
i know a lot about the industry, so i actually really enjoyed writing
the content as well :)
so here we are...i have 3 pages coded into html and ready to show
off in my portfolio...links within the site dont really work, so come
back here to get to the viewable pages :) :
Home page - This
page needed to appeal to 3 audiences coming to the site: the homeowner
board members who choose new companies to manage their facilities,
the patrons of the pools coming to see what programs etc the company
offers, and lifeguards coming to get info before and during employement.
the only thing i really had to start with was their logo.
Employees page
- this was to show a subpage layout...again, main importance to highlight
what that section of the site offers...draw in the target audience.
Job listing page
- this is an internal content page...designed to be simple and
just get info across.
anyway, i'm sure there are other things i could do, change, add, take
out, nudge, adjust and nitpick over, but at this time, its really not
profitable to do it. perhaps this will convince them that they cannot
resist my charms and i can actually get *paid* to play with it more!
(novel goal, isnt it?)
tomorrow is my job interview :) i get to play dressup tonight and see
what i am going to wear. <wicked grin> i could always show up
in my dom dress and demand a job...they are adult content after all,
aren't they?
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
i rarely ever get stuck on a specific food...i usually demand some
variety and get very cranky if there is none to be had.
however, i am *SO* stuck on these breakfast wraps i have been making
lately. i just cant get enough of them!
i cook up a morningstar farms breakfast sausage (fake meat - yay!),
a few tater tots, 1 egg (scrambled), toss them all together, chopping
it all up into a comglomerated heap. then i warm up the big yummy tomato
basil wrap tortilla with some mozerella cheese in it in the microwave
for about 30 sec. pull out the wrap, put the goop in the middle, put
chopped chives and salsa on top and then roll it all together. they
are so tasty and so filling :)
<mouth waters> speaking of, i think i will go make one now for
dinner :)
posted by belen 6:32 PM
8.10.2001
when it rains it pours...
so, i deemed yesterday smut day, but i had no clue how right i was!
yesterday morning, i recieved a strange email failure notice saying
that an email had bounced...the message was in spanish and *obviously*
not one i had sent.
i poked jerry (my server god) about it and he had no answers, so i
ignored it.
this morning, i had about 40 emails confirming (in spanish) that i
had placed classified ads at all these online resources for a person
named "Laura Belen" with the email address 1233@belen.net. apparently
she is from madrid spain...and her classfied ad consists of her name
(a different last name, mind you), her phone number and the message
"conversation".
jesus christ! so now, not only am i asked to partcipate in peddlng
smut (which i certainly dont mind), someone is peddling *thier* smut
using *my* email! so jerry blocked the email for me...good man that
he is.
<shakes head> what a day...when it rains, it pours!
posted by belen 10:55 AM
8.9.2001
breakthrough!
what a day <grins>
its raining adult websites :) a friend with a very successful adult
site called today to ask if we were interested in doing some work with
her...*and* i got an email today from one of my resumes out, for a position
as a designer for a firm that deals primarily in adult content sites.
i guess i am just destined to be swept into the arms of peddling smut
:) donna would be proud!
we shall see how these opportunities go...anything that pays the bills
at this point would be welcomed!
cross your fingers!
posted by belen 5:45 PM
8.5.2001
a moment to rant
something has become frighteningly apparent in my continued job search.
there are a *LOT* of delusional employers in the world.
i cannot count the number of job descriptions i have read where employers
want a high-end web designer with 5+ years of experience who are heavy-hitting
programmers. anyone who knows designers and programmers knows that it
is close to *impossible* to get both a *good* designer and a *good*
programmer wrapped up in one nice neat package.
one ad left me gawking at the screen in disbelief. they spent 2 paragraphs
talking about how they wanted a stellar deisgner with a flair for originality,
a proven portfolio, the ability to think out of the box, to bring their
department to new levels of design. and then in the required skills,
they listed, specifically that they wanted high level proficiency in
C++, Java, ASP, SQL, etc and then said it would be a "PLUS" if they
had photoshop, illustrator and web design skills. WTF?
i just dont get it. what kind of crack are these people smoking? it
makes me want to see what resumes are coming across their desk.
of course, i also saw an ad that linked to a website that claimed that
you could "get rich being a web designer" with "no previous experience".
apparently, you just pick a template, plug in the companies name, it
spits out a website and you "sell it for $250 to $500 or more!"
it makes me want to barf.
posted by belen 7:06 PM
8.4.2001
pure joy
there are moments in my life that let me know that, even with speedbumps,
i am doing something very right.
last night, david and i spent 7 hours reading out loud to each other.
we had movies to watch, other stuff that could have occupied our time,
but the book was so good...and so we sat in candlelight, reading and
enjoying what has to be one of the most simple, beautiful pleasures
in life.
i dont really miss cable, going out to movies and all the other things
that take much money and little personal effort. i am lucky to be able
to appreciate this kind of quality time with someone. i am definately
doing *something* right.
posted by belen 3:27 PM
8.2.2001
sneak
sometimes those old memories just sneak up on you..triggered by this,
that or the other.
funny what we block out. i made a rather bitter reference to my friends
in high school (not all, mind you), and then i had to stop and ask why.
and the first thing that came to mind surprised me.
so i wrote about it in Moments. (Friends)
so much to say about that little bit of writing.
but it all comes down to one thing. without really meaning to, they
hurt me so much. i can see why they said what they did. i can see why
they found it funny. perhaps i asked for that reputation.
despite what any parent fears, or what any teenager thinks at the time,
exploring your sexuality in high school is *not* cool. its not ok to
have lovers who arent your boyfriend. its *not* ok to talk about sex
openly. and its definately not ok to be the initiator.
and even if people are still your friends and even love you, they will
not want someone like you influencing their children.
for someone who wanted more than anything to be loved...who was terrified
of never being good enough for true love...who was so painfully insecure...who
was *17*...to be told this by the only people who knew her and accepted
her was bone-crushing.
perhaps this is the reason i never made much effort to know those people
after high school let us part ways. i never fit there...i was never
really part of them. we had some great times. but i was different. and
there were times when they made me feel that to my core.
my life doesnt exist in their world. its better that way.
posted by belen 8:10 PM
8.1.2001
sousa marches
i never thought i would again ever be assaulted by sousa marches after
years of enduring them in band. and yet, here we are...with marches
being played in the park across the street. my senses are whirling.
for those of you who never had to follow the repeat signs in a neverending
voyage through a march in search of a coda to end the madness, just
stare at me as though i am nuts...*you* dont know our pain.
i also saw high tide today. i didnt *think* i had been missing it,
but the water is a good 15 feet higher than i am used to seeing it.
crazy!
posted by belen 6:11 PM
|