i posted this on the yoga community i am on, but i thought some of you might find it interesting as well:
i have been lurking and reading since joining this community on the suggestion of royalbananafish – it was a nice happenstance that your 40 days aligned with my renewed commitment to coming to the mat every day, and i have very much enjoyed hearing all the encouraging posts.
i am actually on day 22, with 2 days missed so far.
today, i realized something:
so far, my commitment has not been about zen or relaxing or strength or flexibility or any of the reasons i tell myself that yoga is something i want in my life.
so far, it has been purely an exercise of discipline.
i live on an island (literally) and i work from home, so there are no classes to lure me, no group to nurture me, no external element to force my hand. i don’t mind that aspect of it…the quiet reflection of personal practice is something i very much enjoy.
however, in these early days of re-forming the habit of daily practice, i am struck most by the sheer willpower it takes. the days i miss or do only a few token asanas are the days that my discipline is weak – i make excuses why i can’t stop what i am doing and do yoga.
i know myself and my million excuses (too hungry, too full, too tired, too absorbed in work, etc) and i know that there are windows of opportunity in my day. if i miss those windows – if i let myself make excuses – then i don’t make it to the mat.
so, for now, yoga is my personal celebration of discipline. when i walk away from my desk and go to my mat, i congratulate myself on achieving the act of making this a priority, and i try to appreciate that accomplishment in hopes that it is easier to achieve tomorrow.
someday soon, i hope my yoga practice becomes a revelation of strength, balance, zen, centering. but for now, i find i just have to accept this inevitable phase where all my higher purposes are over-shone by a much less glamorous master.
may you all feel the accomplishment of coming to the mat today and every day.