today ended my 5th week of YouWillLiveAndBreatheYoga commitment (though my week in nola was really half-hearted), with 15 hour-and-a-half classroom sessions and 2 solo practices under my belt.
i have another 2.5 weeks left and hope that will mean at least 11-12 more days in the classroom.
more musing back here
today marked my 13th day of yoga while in austin, which, given my 10 days off for bad leg, and two weekends out of town, that means yoga 13 out of 19 available days. that makes me very proud.
i feel really great about this jumpstart, and i am a little excited that the week return to austin after nola will mean another week of spoiling myself with yoga classes.
it’s funny how much coming back to a regular practice spins into more yoga-topic thinking for me. i already have mini-goals on what strength/core things i want to focus my energy on in the coming months. i have a better sense of what parts of the series i can take out for a shorter but still targeted practice. and i find myself hankering to read more of the yoga anatomy book that my sister got me for xmas.
its nice to be reminded that in my dream-world, i retire to be a yoga-teaching flower-farmer 😉
today, for once, i am workalicious.
but i felt a compelling need to pause and chirp.
the last 2 weeks of attending yoga classes has been so yummy.
yesterday, i was able to remember my locks and the thrill of stability they bring. every day, i feel myself getting stronger, more able to breathe (rather than gasp), and closer to that SoInLove feeling that makes me want a daily practice.
i am basking in the little nuggets of Knowledge from matt.
for the first time, i completely understand the mechanics of how the floating happens in vinyasas (not that i think i will get there for another decade!).
i am feeling my spine lengthen and my body uncoil.
this was a very lovely gift to give myself 🙂
so this week i have succeeded 4 days in a row to get up at 6:45ish, check on the world, and start a 30 minute yoga session by 7:30am.
i cannot put to words how good it makes me feel to have accomplished this.
my days have been hectic and busy since returning, with work and garden and kittens making it feel like i don’t have enough hours in the day…so the obnoxiously early sunrise, coupled with kittens who LOVE to snuggle at 6:30am have created a situation where i can actually make it out of bed way early.
and that has meant adding yoga back into my day.
<happydance>
and with yoga has come the resurgence of Kitty&MeYoga.
zephyr, when quite little himself, played this game with me and i missed it 🙂
ponce occassionally pounces and plays, but mostly, he finds whatever crook or nitch my body is currently making, curls into it, and purrs.
as i change positions, so does he.
when i am doing sun salutations or vinyasas, he sits between my hand blocks so my body comes down to barely touch him and then he stares up at me and purrs while i am in downward dog.
talk about zen. kitten purrs should be sold as yoga music 🙂
i posted this on the yoga community i am on, but i thought some of you might find it interesting as well:
i am actually on day 22, with 2 days missed so far.
today, i realized something:
so far, my commitment has not been about zen or relaxing or strength or flexibility or any of the reasons i tell myself that yoga is something i want in my life.
so far, it has been purely an exercise of discipline.
i live on an island (literally) and i work from home, so there are no classes to lure me, no group to nurture me, no external element to force my hand. i don’t mind that aspect of it…the quiet reflection of personal practice is something i very much enjoy.
however, in these early days of re-forming the habit of daily practice, i am struck most by the sheer willpower it takes. the days i miss or do only a few token asanas are the days that my discipline is weak – i make excuses why i can’t stop what i am doing and do yoga.
i know myself and my million excuses (too hungry, too full, too tired, too absorbed in work, etc) and i know that there are windows of opportunity in my day. if i miss those windows – if i let myself make excuses – then i don’t make it to the mat.
so, for now, yoga is my personal celebration of discipline. when i walk away from my desk and go to my mat, i congratulate myself on achieving the act of making this a priority, and i try to appreciate that accomplishment in hopes that it is easier to achieve tomorrow.
someday soon, i hope my yoga practice becomes a revelation of strength, balance, zen, centering. but for now, i find i just have to accept this inevitable phase where all my higher purposes are over-shone by a much less glamorous master.
may you all feel the accomplishment of coming to the mat today and every day.
there are moments when i am trying to get back to regular practice…
the moments where i know my practice should be making me feel refreshed and whole, but instead it is labor and grinding as my body tries to remember.
the moments where i have to use will instead of desire.
the moments where something pops and slides into place.
the moments where i feel my strength returning…where sun salutation b makes me feel powerful instead of leaving me panting for breath.
the moments where the stretches are deep, the reaches are energetic, the flow moves me.
and suddenly i am there again…driven by my body’s craving to be one with this feeling and my practice becomes effortless, refreshing, and exhausting in that deeply satisfying way.
today, i felt the pop and slide…the strength and flexibility returning. just a little longer and i can reap the rewards of the climb.