it’s been close to six years since i have had a semi-regular blog…that’s surprising – for more than 12 years prior to that, i was such a junkie for baring my soul regularly to a glowing screen and releasing it into the world.
i’m back because i missed this – The More Substantial Post. unlike many, i don’t dislike the experience i get from FB, but i miss expressing myself with more substance. so i guess i’m ready to say, “hello (again), world!”
and i’m nervous. it’s not that i’ve gotten any more private about my life and my thoughts. i’m not one of those people with filters and restrictions on my accounts. i’ve always been on the fringes of Acceptable, living my life with somewhat unconventional choices – and that remains as true at 40ish as it was in my 20s.
i think some of my nervousness is that my experiences and feelings feel farther away from those of many of my friends these days. in my 20s and early 30s, i found people who shared my philosophies and were living similar lives. i built my tribe.
right about the time i dropped off the blogosphere, there was a fork in the road. most of my nearest and dearest started families and their lives shifted into a new focus, new experiences, new priorities. i, too, gained joys from that journey – seeing my friends grow, participating in the journey of these little people, standing in awe of the highs and lows in their lives.
my journey has been different for a while now. my choices have given me a different array of joys and struggles, sadness and identity. it makes me a little self-conscious, a little more reticent to share what ails me, what weighs on my soul, what i work toward and through. i sometimes joke that i leapfrogged into a new phase of life…from Finding Myself to Finding Purpose in Semi-retirement, and just skipped all those years of Family Responsibility 🙂
so i’m pushing aside my unease and opening up the milky white screen again. i have always benefitted from hanging my hopes, fears, aches, and experiences out in the world. i enjoy the perspective it lends me. i enjoy the sense of shared experience it has always brought. here’s to being fearless once again.