I was sitting in the clubhouse under glaring fluorescent lights, squinting in pain through my glasses, pink-eye spread to both eyes. It took everything I had in me just to sit up and answer the questions of our swim-lesson patrons without leaning over the edge of the table to puke on the pale blue carpet. Jose Cuervo was not my friend. I hated blacking out…

A little girl walked up with her small hand extended, holding two dimes and a nickel.

"Do you have a quarter?" Her bright eyes shined up at me.

"Sure, honey, I think so…" as I reached for my purse.

I lifted out my dayplanner and I froze. My black lace panties were in the bottom of my purse.

I carefully took out a quarter and handed it to the girl as my mind began reeling. My black memory of the previous night began coming to me in flashes…

the office…after-hours…tequila…flirting…

crying…naked…

"just come lay down…"

phone call: answering machine…jonathan, please come get me – i'm too drunk to drive…

driving…oh god i can't do this…

"hi honey, did you just get home?"…look around: sitting in my car in front of the house with the car door open. jonathan hovering in the doorframe…

oh god how did i get here?

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"Ma'am? Ma'am?" The voice jolted me back.

"Yes?" My stomach clenched.

"Could you tell me more about Waterbabies? My little girl…"