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Like everything, a journal is the reflection of a journey and its form morphs with time. This archive covers my blogging from 1999-2002.


The Blogger years. It started as I began travelling and wanted a more daily journal of my life to share with my friends.
oct sept aug july
june may april march
feb jan    
dec nov oct sept
aug july june may
april      

The leap from milky white pages to glowing white screen...the start of virtual exhibitionism.
apr.17: irate
apr.08: expired
apr.07: home
apr.06: free
mar.26: bound
feb.18: inked
jan.02: lost
jan.02: dream
sep.13: high
sep.02: wander
aug.30: touched
jul.24: glow
may.11: snap
feb.29: sex
jan.11: why
jan.01: the apocolypse
dec.06: mourning
nov.01: insanity
oct.13: caged
oct.13: surrender

baring a soul : january 2001

lost: 01.02.01
"all i do, i can still feel you..."

that akward pause...that lingers painfully...as you stare across a table at someone who once tasted your soul...shared your soul...owned your soul...

and now....

you can't even manage to talk about the weather with any fluidity.

they speak...but you can hardly hear the words over the din of your mind...screaming, gasping, reeling, drowning in the emptiness.

you speak...and you notice their gaze drift off...that desperate, glazed look that you weren't supposed to see...

and you know

despite the pretenses,

despite the intentions,

you failed...

and they are gone....so far gone.

and still, you have those moments...

that familiar place,

a familiar song,

the odd, random thought that sneaks up and says,

"remember?"

and you crumble.

how can they be so far away...

and yet touch so deeply still?

oh how i loved you...

how i loved you.

how did i love you?