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freeing a soul : june 2002
6.26.2002
seething anger
i want my own personal network admin/computer specialist in a travel kit that goes with me everywhere. small, inflatable, willing and able to please.
today i spent 3 hours trying to make the computers play nicely...and i only put a bandaid on the problem.
1st, my 3rd scanner in 4 years decides that since moving across the country, it will not be recognized by any computer. its got power. i tried 2 USB cables. nope. not my computer, not david's.
i have a theory that scanners are disposable if you move them. plug them in, keep them in 1 place, they work fine. move them *once* and they die. this has happened 3 times now. this time, i virtually wrapped the fucker in cotton.
fuck.
so then i try to connect the other scanner in the house to my computer, but alas, it uses a cable that is totally foreign to me.
so then i decide that i will make every computer on the network accessable to each other so we can use the scanner and printer on the other computer.
the 2 windows 98 computers were buddies right away.
and my fucking windows 2000 computer won't play with everyone else. damn elitist.
david, with his father's coaching, finally gets it to mostly work after 2 hours of troubleshooting.
however, the computer that has the scanner still can't see *my* computer, which was the WHOLE REASON FOR DOING THIS!
i can see the computer, which means i can scan stuff and then drag it over to my hard drive, but i would really like to have just scanned staight to my drive.
but no.
denied.
ugh.
and i have a billion things to scan for a new project.
i fucking hate computers.
posted by belen 4:11 PM
6.25.2002
welcome home :: part two
so let's get you caught up on the new homestead :)
we are spending the summer in Bremerton, WA which is about an hour ferry ride across the sound from downtown seattle, or a 45 minute drive.
we are staying with lish, who is an old friend of david's. she moved to washington just as we were leaving last winter. i had the chance to meet her and hang out once before we left, and when she offered us a place to stay for the summer, i was very pleased at the idea of knowing her better.
since we visited, she moved out of her rental house and bought one of her own. its a 2-story house on a quiet circle drive, huge trees everywhere. the house is white with purple trim :) and she has thrown herself head first into gardening. this means i have *much* opportunity to dig in the dirt all summer. thus far there are a ton of roses, ivies, herbs, lilies, and we are spending this week digging a strawberry bed <huge grin>
there is a balcony off the living room at the front of the house and a patio along the side by the front door. every evening so far has been spent -dinner through late into the night - on the porch with a few of lish's friends, talking and drinking and relaxing (in wool shawls!)
the inside of the house is very open. the living room/kitchen/dining room all have flow-through open doorwars between them, so the space feels big and airy. our bedroom is just right...big enough for us and stuff but still cozy.
some of you will snicker at this: we live next door to an elementary school, so all day i get to enjoy the sound of children "using their voices". its actually not bad...there is something charming about hearing kids cheering each other on and laughing all day. reminds me to take a break from working every now and then.
anyone who knows me knows my "thing" about house zen...my house in austin had so much good karma. people walked in and just melted into the couches. i have spent a lot of time missing that house.
and i am pretty sure that this house has even more goodness in it. as soon as we arrived, i instantly felt at home and at peace. i think a large contributing factor to it is lish and her general attitude. she is that brilliant combination of straight-up, non-foofy girl but one of the most gracious hostesses i have ever come across. she has this magic talent for making you feel like her space is your space, so she did things like rent matresses for us as well as putting us to work cooking etc :) i love the way her house seems to have opened up to encompass us immediately.
so i took pictures of the house and then searched our possessions for the dig camera cable. <stompstompstomp> i think it is in florida taunting me. gr. so today i go buy a new cable so i can show you the lovliness that is our new home.
one of the crowning joys of being here is getting to have a dog for the summer :) her name is angie and she is a border collie mutt mix :) the cats are definately aware that she is Different, and they have been very hissy. angie, luckily, is very very mellow and sweet...she was a stray, so she has some insecurity issues but is very non-agressive. her big thing is protecting her food bowl so every time she sees a cat, she runs to her bowl and lays next to it to "protect" it :) but its only been 3 days and it seem that tensions are already lowering.
the cats have discovered Outside, so we have to get tags made for them today before they officially escape into NW bliss :) the neighborhood is great and i have no qualms about them having outside time, as long as they have tags to be returned to us in case they get stupid.
and so the story of our summer begins. i am now committing to daily posts. fear me :)
posted by belen 2:38 PM
6.24.2002
welcome home :: part one
<deep sigh of relief>
yes, the mothership has landed.
so much to share...let's see if i can get through it all in 1 sitting :)
so we drove from austin to the oregon border in one shot. with the back seat of the suburban available for sleeping, it was actually, *not* terrible. we decided that it would be insane to do the entire 40 hours in 1 stretch, so we made plans to camp in a small state park on the idaho/oregon border.
part of this Plan was to stop at a walmart in boise, idaho to acquire a bigger tent and an air matress. lo-and-behold! we got the Mother of All Tents! you could throw a rave in this tent, in fact. david (all 6'6" of him) can stand upright in it and i believe it is about 120 sq ft of tent. plenty of space for bedroom, living room and cats :) and in addition, the queen size air matress has now raised our level of camping to Luxury Levels.
so after a glorious night of sleep in our new Tent Palace, under the threat of thunderstorms, we hastily packed up the suburban, and i had the pleasure of a *shower*. mind you, it was a campsite shower...and i forgot the shampoo...*but* it was warm water, i had soap and i was like a duck in water, splashing around and ecstatic. see what my lifestyle choices have reduced me to? simple pleasures :)
so with only an 8 hour drive ahead of us on sunday, we decided to indulge ourselves as we drove through the heart of washington wine country. we stopped at 5 different wineries and ended up with 8 bottles of wine. the wineries were so friendly and so good. i think we may have found a few new favorites, and already have our eye on a late august trip back to them to acquire a specific bottle of port. sin in a bottle, i tell you.
so by the end of the wine country, we had a 2 hour drive left and we were *so* done with the car. all in all, it was an uneventful trip. yay! i think we paid our dues last nov with the move to florida...our "bad trip" coffers are full for a while :)
stay tuned for the next installment of "welcome home", where our heroine describes her new home and the events of Settling In and Taming the Chaos.
off to the big hippie grocery store :):):)
posted by belen 6:07 PM
6.21.2002
purrrrrrr
well, we are at the end of another Austin Visit. do you spoiled people realize that in the 14 months i have been gone, i have come to visit *6* times???
it was a good & productive week, and yesterday was my crowning achievement:
i woke up and checked email etc.
i went to a 2 hour breakfast with alex and beth at kerby lane.
i returned to my computer and got an hour or so worth of work done.
and then i had the hour and a half lunch at star of india with jerry.
and then i got back and checked my email and left immediately to have coffee at spiderhouse with david and an old co-worker of his.
and then i got dropped off at conduit to meet donna and mairi for Kitten Rescue.
we wound up rescuing 4 6-8 week old feral kittens. we returned to the conduit office with our prizes and they were so flea infested that i bathed each of them in them in the sink (not a peep out of the tiny things), and then we all spent about 2 hours drying and picking fleas off of them.
it had to have ben the best Quality Time evening i have ever had with donna & mairi (yes, the 3 of us could very well become crazy cat ladies....it was like a sewing circle only for cat de-fleaing!). the kittens all got Star Wars themed names.
see our darlings here: http://www.donnaclancygoertz.com/kittens/
padme was my little angel who had about 100 fleas on her and was infinately patient as i picked fleas for 2 hours.
mmmmmmmm......kitten love
and then mairi and i went to west lynn and gorged on good food, wine, dessert, port...because i hadnt gorged *enough* yet that day!
and then mairi dropped me off to spend the remainder of my evening with david and cassandra.
talk about a full and glorious day!
and then david made me have A Moment by staying up until the sun rose playing a game on the night before we made a 40 hour cross-country drive....just like he did the night before.
how many of you have ever seen me give someone an asschewing?
i am over it now bec it does no good to be pissed off...but i was pretty damn pissy :)
posted by belen 9:45 AM
6.18.2002
creativity abounds
this gave me a good laugh. how much spare time and lego pieces did they have?
LEG0DEATH: A Museum of Horrors
posted by belen 5:19 PM
6.15.2002
pleasant surprises
well, the trip from clearwater to houston only took 15 hrs! so we wound up at my mom's at 4:30am. thank god for empty rooms and soft beds :). i expected to drive into austin exhausted and instead, i got many restful hours of sleep, and *almost* feel human.
more later...Quality Time with mom is calling :)
posted by belen 8:27 AM
6.14.2002
impending dreams
i condone dreaming big.
i encourage myself and others to set goals, even if they seem a little out of reach, and then stretch to get there.
and in this, i certainly practice what i preach.
so what do you do when you wake up on the morning of an Impending Dream?
this morning, i struggled to wake up...a mix of nervous anticipation and sheer exhaustion.
and i *realized* that today is the day i step foot into a dream i have been planning for 6 months. and the *concept* has been in formulation for over a year.
so here we are.
hi dream!
you and i will be on the road in a few hours.
together.
zoom!
it just doesnt seem real.
yes...*i* am about to drive across the entire country tip to tip.
why? because its hot here. and not so pleasant during the summer.
and washington is beautiful and cool.
and because i *can*.
such freedom is a remarkable thing.
whew.
posted by belen 6:31 AM
6.12.2002
insanity
well, i am officially insane. we jsut plotted the whole trip on a US map.
would you believe that i am *less* stressed now? once you are faced with your own lunacy, the seriousness seems to fade :) now i am just excited and awed by this life i get to live :)
posted by belen 11:18 AM
mounting anticipation
these are the times, my friends, when we test just how zen-like i am. i *firmly* refuse to allow the standard outward manifestations of my stress and anxiety about this trip, and i think its helping. don't get me wrong, i am sure that the vibe coming off me is all wonky, but at least i am not snippy, irritable, bursting into tears, panicing or suffering from insomnia.
all in all, i think its under control.
really, there isn't as much to do as i think.
but i am such a "home" oriented person that the idea of leaving all my stuff for 3 months is unsettling.
moving every 6-9 months? no problem! my stuff all travels with me! i am movnig to a new "my space".
this is the first time i have tried anything like this.
do i think i will be happy? yes.
does that make me any more relaxed? no.
why? it is my blessing & curse to anticipate every little thing that could go wrong and try to compensate for it. needless to say, this means i put way more pressure on myself than need be.
the virgo in me pops out every now and then. and this week, She has been raging on...fussy, meticulous, planning obsessed, unable to relax, needing everything to be perfect.
and then i look over at david, who is sitting on the couch, reading a book, totaly relaxed. and he looks up at me and smiles and says, "its ok...it is. its under control. its not as bad as you think." and i know he is right...and i get a little less frazzled...for 5 whole glorious minutes :)
but once we are on the road, i will feel so good!
assuming of course, that work behaves itself :)
posted by belen 6:45 AM
6.10.2002
personal projects
what do you do when you are totally stressed and have too much to do?
i give myself time to invest in my personal projects. to gain some much needed zen and focus so i can come back to the frantic pace refreshed.
so thats what this weekend was.
i started by redesigning one of my favorite pieces of writing in flash. i am pretty darn happy with the result. i think i am still going to tweak it a bit, but here is the first draft. rage
then i guess i must have had that time period stuck in my brain...bec i woke up on sunday morning remembering some long-forgotten memories of the unraveling of my relationship with jonathan. and it struck me as a great Moments addition. so i wrote it up as a 2-part installment.
and now i launch into The Week. 4 days till we leave, a new web server to set up, and a requirements doc for a dev project to complete. and those are just the things i know about ;)
posted by belen 8:21 AM
6.6.2002
breaking the rules!
<sighs> i am so excited about my new glasses that i *have* to show you some self portrait pictures :) and we all know that posting pictures of me here is a general no-no, but...yah, so here there are.
caveat: i am *blind*. these glasses are thicker tham most of you could ever imagine. if you wear glasses and know your prescription, i can wow you with the fact that these leses are a -12.0. so i find it astounding that they don't distort my eyes more than they do. also, due to lack of primping, these pictures have lots of shine :) but what can i do when donna isn't around to make me beautiful for her lens?
posted by belen 8:18 AM
6.5.2002
spoiled
you know, *sometimes* after 2 hard days of staring at naked muddy, wet and chocolate covered chicks and getting paid for it, one needs to relax...unwind. sometimes, they should follow rough days like this with a good dose of deeply satisfying shopping, checking back with work to make sure that all is good, and then round out the day with an invigorating viewing of Lord of the Rings.
yes. that is *indeed* what one should do.
posted by belen 11:47 AM
blogging and the flow of time
alex made the comment yesterday that i had been writing a lot lately...and that's funny, because *i* feel like i want to write *so* much more! but you know, i think that is a reflection of my itchiness to get back to my writing. i keep saying this, don't i? <sighs> i dislike that "writing" has ended up on the same list of things to procrastinate, like "excercise" and "housecleaning". it just shouldn't register the same hesitancy as scrubbing a toilet or sweating a bucketload.
ACK! only 9 days until we trek across the country! god bless david for making lists and subdividing them into categories so we can remember everything. but alas, he will again do most of the packing, which my inner anal virgo self has a hard time coping with. it means i don't know which box something is in, and nothing makes sense. somewhere in the journal, there is a rant about it from our cross-crountry move (december?).
so i was reading Salamander's blogger (she was kind enough to write me and compliment my site, and i have checked on her from time to time...a blog i really enjoy reading). and one of her recent entries describes helping a friend who is in a verbally abusive relationship. her account touched home for so many reasons...but mostly made me remember the excrutiating pain of having to watch your friends go through tough times. and, as always with the balance of things, the relief of finally getting to see them come back to themselves...better....stronger. of course, not everyone gets there, but i guess i have been lucky to have so many of my dear ones push through crappy stuff to come out on top. my soul wanted to reach out to Salamander and tell her i know the heartache. sometimes all you can do is watch and love.
i had a pouty moment this morning. i was talking with david about how i wanted to hit Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up some nice summer cotton sheets and he reminded me that in 9 days we are leaving for the NW, where it will never get above 80 and flannel is perfectly acceptable year-round. and that made me *really* fussy. and then i realized that it wasn't the *sheets* that were necessary...it was shopping. i am having a very rare day of the Shopping Urge. and after years of being controlled by that evil urge, i finally have it under control. now when i shop, i find it difficult to buy *anything* that i don't really need. (this is landmark, guys!) so i think i am going to treat myself to s "shopping spree" today, which will amount to a lot of looking and not much buying :)
so on that note, i think i will pretty myself up for the Shopping Ritual. Work can wait a bit today...i worked my ass off all weekend.
posted by belen 7:38 AM
6.3.2002
Voyeurism
there are certain things i *love* about my job. one of the big ones is that working with george's sites means i get to tease people for a living. mmmmm!
for our site www.messyfun.com, we have started an online journal for the staff to give visitors a taste of what is happening behind the scenes in building our new pay site. it is so much fun to get to go post there and give them tidbits of progress :)
and after a looooooong time designing boring cell phone banners, i am finally getting to design some fun banners for our other pay site www.tnvgirls.com. for example:
posted by belen 12:43 PM
6.2.2002
puzzle pictures
so, some of you know that i am currently working on a 4000 piece puzzle.
where the hell do you *put* a 4000 piece puzzle when you have a small apartment and 2 mischieveous cats?
well, my ingeneous boyfriend rigged a ceiling mount for it above my desk.
interesting sidenote about my puzzling: i dont look at the box lid. actually, since david came along, i don't even know what my puzzles *are* when i start working on them! i have now deduced that this is a tiger...maybe 2. but that is all i know for now.
here are the pics :)
posted by belen 4:29 PM
finally some pictures!
i finally put up some pics of savannah...enjoy!
when
you cross the street, this is the *median*
this
is one of the "squares" that some of the streets form. big grassy areas
to lounge around. *so* lovely!
the old capital
the
riverfront. this is where all the dining/drinking action is
the
steepest stairs in the world. i don't know if you can tell, but god help the drunk
stumbling up or down these babies!
a
really pretty church downtown.
posted by belen 4:24 PM
