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Like everything, a journal is the reflection of a journey and its form morphs with time. This archive covers my blogging from 1999-2002.


The Blogger years. It started as I began travelling and wanted a more daily journal of my life to share with my friends.
oct sept aug july
june may april march
feb jan    
dec nov oct sept
aug july june may
april      

The leap from milky white pages to glowing white screen...the start of virtual exhibitionism.
apr.17: irate
apr.08: expired
apr.07: home
apr.06: free
mar.26: bound
feb.18: inked
jan.02: lost
jan.02: dream
sep.13: high
sep.02: wander
aug.30: touched
jul.24: glow
may.11: snap
feb.29: sex
jan.11: why
jan.01: the apocolypse
dec.06: mourning
nov.01: insanity
oct.13: caged
oct.13: surrender

freeing a soul : may 2001

5.26.2001

faeryland

i found where the faeries must live...

15 minutes from our apartment is a park that thas the most *lovely* trail through the rainforest.

the trees were so big...the sun filtered softly though all the branches...ferns thrived everywhere. i even delighted in seeing fungus growing large & proud on fallen tree trunks. there was a particular grove of 3 giant trees in a circle that i strongly suspect is where our resident faeries dance by moonlight.

the path meandered down to the beachfront...a pebble beach on the harbor. as we broke out of the rainforest, we came to the sparkling blue water & big pretty sail boats floating merrily past. (we studiously ignored the screaming children playing in the water)

david and i both exclaimed that it was a shame that we had not discovered this place when andre was here visiting <grins> i guess it doesnt always pay to be the first to visit :)

it was a perfectly delightful day...full of long walks, reading & relaxing.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: PROTEST OF THE DAY ::

low tide.

very rarely is low tide a pretty thing...and today we found that it was, indeed, not glorious to witness.

begone low tide, you theif of beautiful sights...you villain of perfection!
posted by belen 10:38 PM

5.20.2001

finally

finally, there has been a flurry of events worthy of documenting :)

so yesterday was our Big Day: bob & i were in a filming of a documentary on body painting.

we left bob's at 8:45am and we got horribly lost on the way there...confirming what a fucked-up city Seattle is in the way of road structure. drunks built their road systems *i swear*!

finally we arrived at the studio for the filming...got settled in & started the task at hand.

bob was going to make me an amazon.

hey! quit laughing...just because i am only 5'3" *does not* mean i couldn't be a successful amazon! <frowns & considers> ok, maybe all my bouncing & laughing & smiling & glowing & natural happiness could be a minor stumbling block to becoming a successful, man-hating, violent, rip-his-heart-out-and-eat-it warrior woman, but thats it! ok...so maybe the sword was a little tough for me to lift with one hand...but other than *that*...

we spent the day doing our thing for 5-8 people & 2 cameras. me: naked & laughing & thoroughly enjoying everyone's company. bob: painting, scolding me for moving & being his usual personable self.

finally by 9pm we were ready to take pictures of the final product. i had to get growly & mean.

which i struggled with until bob started talking about painting my sister. *then* it was on & i was in full growl mode.

overall, it was a lovely experience...the folks we worked with were very cool & despite the long hours, we were still laughing at the end.

the coolest thing about it all:

i got to be filmed taking a shower! <laughs> yes, i have now joined the ranks of women who have been filmed while taking a shower :)

so we'll see if anything comes of the documentary...perhaps someday i will be famous.

keep your eye on bob's site (www.dvnc-arts.com) for the pics...we'll get them up eventually!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

so we dragged ourselves back to olympia that night. i was exhausted beyond belief. i feel into bed around midnight & slept like the dead.

until i heard "TEST! TEST! TESINGTESTINGTESTING!" right outside my open bedroom window through a loudspeaker.

i prayed for silence...just a few more hours of sleep.

"WELCOME TO THE OLYMPIAN MARATHON! FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS WE WILL BE WELCOMING THE RUNNERS TO THE FINISH LINE!!!"

the finish line is directly below my bedroom window? apparently so.

we closed the window. we buried our heads under pillows.

"MARATHONER #575 - BRENDA CROMWELL FROM SEATTLE WASHINGTON CROSSED THE FINISH LINE!!!!!! HALF-MARATHONER BOB TILTON FROM VANCOUVER BC: WELCOME TO THE FIISH LINE!!!!..."

and so our friend the marathon chearleader continued to scream. allllllll morning.

so i finally gave up & crawled out of bed.

i thought "i should call my sister & see how prom went last night!" - and the phone rang. great minds think alike :)

my sister decided not to look like the other bunnies for prom...she wore a dark blue & red skirt & a red corset. needless to say, there was much cleavage to be oggled...and she must have looked like a dream :)

she had a wonderful tme with all her friends & even got up the nerve to have pics snapped with a particularly lovely goth-boi that she had always had her eye on. i grinned about that...i also asked if i could have him shipped here for just a little while...i would like to have a pretty young houseboy for a bit :)

i look forward to seeing her pictures.

<grins> and it appears as thought donna might take pictures of her in her prom outfit too...god help us all!
posted by belen 1:05 PM

5.10.2001

psycho-hosebeast replies

i am so amused i can barely stand it....the saga continues...

our new-found critic - who *obviously* has nothing better to do with her time - replies:

Subject: RE: source code crap and FREE WILL

WOW this was a great experiment!! Thanks for your response. I have forwarded your email to every web master I am in contact with. You should read your last line first and then your first line about free will. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sounds a little off kilter here. lol

[name] (and very proud of it)

<tilts head> she forwarded this to every webmster she knows?

so they can...laugh with her about wasting another webmaster's valuable time?

it *is* a great story...and my friend's reply was priceless...but to imply that she did this intentionally as an *experiment*??

a) this woman needs better hobbies.

b) if she is amusing herself from work doing this...she needs more work.

c) arent there *drugs* for people like this?

but, at least i got to laugh more. whew...lots of idiots in the world!

unfortunately, i fear this is the end of this tale for us ...my friend has blocked our PsychoHosebeast's email & has decided not to reply.

but it broke up the monotany :)
posted by belen 10:57 AM

5.9.2001

god doesn't love nasty people

:: PROTEST OF THE DAY ::

today's whole post will be a protest against rotten people who have nothing better to do than to spend their energy writing mean emails to strangers.

the names have been excluded to protect the true identity of everyone involved...we will just say this event happened to a "friend"

(no its not me...*really*)

my friend owns a company. today she received an email from someone who visited her site, viewed her source code & read the comment tags. in these comment tags, she found a piece of text referring to the ability to have a scrolling message in the status bar of the window...she had this to say:

Subject: source code crapFinding this in your source code is very ugly. "This is great for adding subliminal messages, or for the [company name here] branding." Unless you put something in like "God loves you" or "this site is full of crap". That would work for me.Sincerely,

[name & title here]

my friend was appauled. but she had had a rather bad day. so she responded the way we all dream of responding to these small-minded idiots of the world:

Subject: RE: source code crap

At [company name here] , we are big fans of free will, if our source code offends you, don't look at it. Looking at source code is very akin to looking up someone's skirt, unless you have that sort of fetish, you might be offended by what you see. btw, God doesn't love nasty people, so we'd be incorrect if we put God Loves You. But you're on to something with the full of crap idea. It would be more correct write, "If your name is [name of woman here], you're full of crap."
If you can't write something nice, maybe you shouldn't write anything at all. Didn't your parents teach you any manners?
[name]

today, in honor of this endearing exchange that excercises the freedom to tell off those you find annoying and stupid, we salute this friend in her effort at taking up arms against that which she felt the need to protest...openly, without reserve, and at the top of her lungs :)

do you have a similar story about idiots on the internet? moronic emails you have received & replied to? entertain us with your experiences...we will collect & post for our viewing pleasure :) me@belen.net

<worried expression> what is it about running a website that makes one want to pluralize reference to themselves? i need to address this :)
posted by belen 7:12 PM

5.8.2001

neglected

you feel neglected dont you?

<petpetpetpet> i'm sorry...i dont mean to be a bad blogger...i have been procrastinating for a few reasons:

1) i would like to reformat the protest of the day...i am rethinking its Place In The Grand Scheme of Belen.Net

2) i need to do some brushing up on my resume/portfolio section...try to get some independent contracts. so my mind has been there a lot. if you know anyone who needs my....services <grins>...i am great at what i do :)

3) i just havent felt inspired. plain & simple.

but *andre* is coming today!!!! and that will surely pep up my creativity & energy level :)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: PROTEST OF THE DAY ::

today i protest worthless losers who steal other people's designs & use them as their own to make money.

this weekend, i went to clear out all the crap in my hotmail account....you know how it is: go in, mass delete without even looking. but this time i noticed a piece of spam for cell phones...intrigued because we do some design for cell phones now, i decided to "see what someone else has done".

so i clicked on the link and lo & behold it was one of our promotions! well...<leans in and stares hard>...almost. the clients logo was missing and <opens source> they stripped out the back-end stuff.

i sat in shock...someone *totally* ripped off our design!

so i did the slueth work, sent all the info off to everyone who should know...and before we could take any real action, the site hosting the promotion was shut down by DNS folks & kicked off the server :)

yah! so THERE! i protest bigfatlosers who cant be original enough to EARN their own money!
posted by belen 9:54 AM

5.2.2001

control

sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns i tell you!

every morning, i wake up too damn early, stumble to the computer & sit victim to early assault by people who are 2-3 timezones ahead of me. i can't focus, i can't think, and the coffee takes wayyyyyy to long to take effect.

i tell you...*not* the right way to start the day.

so, i made myself a promise yesterday...and today, i followed it.

i woke up earlier than usual - <pauses to laugh> - let me continue, will you? i'm not a cracksmoker!

i padded into the living room, i turned on the tv, unrolled my mat, and did yoga <big grin> i got a realllly great tape called "ashtanga short forms" and it *ROCKS*...it has a 15 min, 30 min & 45 min set of routines so i can get a good workout in less time than the standard hour and a half :) what a wonderful way to wake up :)

then i took a nice long hot shower...started some tea brewing, cut up an apple, and *then*

i turned on my computer

and this time i was ready for the assault :)

so i think i found my answer...start the day on *my* terms <winks>there is no protest today...i'm zenning to happily to protest anything at the moment...perhaps later in the day :)
posted by belen 9:11 AM