highly amusing

not that i don’t have anything of substance to share, but mostly i am sick and don’t have the energy to actually craft any words for you.

so in the meantime, enjoy this excerpt from the Thursday Morning Quarterback columnist that my boy loves to read:

The Prize for the North American Cycle Courier Championships Was Lost in the Mails: The latest North American Cycle Courier Championship was held in Boston. That’s right — a competitive race for bicycle messengers. Tuesday Morning Quarterback suggests these other sporting events based on everyday modern life:

Western Hemisphere Speed Barista Challenge: Objective is to get through the line at a high-end coffee shop and obtain a half-skim double-caramel rapafrapazapachino before your double-parked car is ticketed. Use of elbows technically illegal, but skilled competitors get away with cutting the line.

North American Multitasking Finals: Contestants must drive an SUV, talk on a cell phone, use a PDA and watch a movie on a portable DVD player simultaneously, without striking spectators.

East Coast Recycling Evasion Championships: Contestants must get rid of glass bottles and plastic containers without using recycle bins; severe penalties for being caught.

Suburban Soccer Mom Rally: Entrants must take children to sports events on opposite sides of a county at the same time, while picking up dry cleaning, buying school supplies, shouting into a cell phone and evading randomly located traffic jams.

Regional DMV Marathon: Contestants must get through the line in a Department of Motor Vehicles office. This day-long event characterized by foul language, pushing and shoving. Warning: Clerks may ignore you even if you’re standing right there!