how it all began

hi 🙂

so i sit in the chilly morning air of the pacific northwest, drinking hot coffee and reflecting on the insane amount of stuff i have to do today, this week, this month, etc.

and i feel a little like a cheating bitch, knowing that my blogger would love to have even more updates than it already gets…i always swore i would never split my journalling between 2 sources.

and yet here i am.

why am i cheating on my blogger?

well, i decided i wanted a special journal for a while. one that really *is* part of my daily routine. and since i am about to start a new effort in my life, i thought this might be the right time and place to start this account.

so the reason my livejournal has sprung to life is because i have finally put my foot down and decided that with 30 creeping ever-closer, it was time to stop whining about the state of my body and health and do something about it. and this, in theory will be the log of that journey.

so here is where many of my friends make that worried face and say sternly, “belen, you don’t need to diet…are you becoming one of those compulsive whiney women who is perpetually dissatisfied with her body???”

and it is *that* question that i address most of this post to. not for them, but for me. i want to lay out exactly why i want to do this, what i hope to gain, and how i plan to do it. (wow, that just felt like the intro to every bad paper i ever had to write in college!)

why do i feel like i need a change in my eating and excercise habits?

well, somehow over the last year, about 10 pounds snuck up on me. and i am *not* a scale watcher…in fact, i would have no problem with the number on the scale if it was because i was fit and muscular. but all of a sudden, my favorite clothes didnt fit. it doesnt help that most of the time my long flowy hippie-garb doesnt actually make me aware of what the current state of my body is.

the girl who ran around naked all the time just doesnt really feel so apt to do so anymore.

its not because i am getting older and i want my 22 year old body. i accept that that body (and the craziness that went with it) are neatly tucked away into the Past. honestly, i *like* getting older. wider hips? ok, sure…makes me curvy. can’t shop in the trendy teen stores? bah…i hate the fashions now anyway! i dont want to be crackwhore thin. i am not trying to “lose weight” per say. i just want a healthy body back.

another big factor is the fact that recent years have made my blood sugar issues much worse. there is nothing worse than cratering out in the middle of the day…over and over and over. anassadeina has been preaching the low-carb love for years and i made a feable atempt at it last year. now i am jsut sick of the roller coaster. time to get off.

what are my goals?

i am going to say “lose 10 pounds” because its the easiest measurement available. i think the more accurate answer is that i want to get rid of my body fat and turn it into lean mass.

i want to walk up a hill without falling over 🙂

i want to not see jiggly thighs

i want to have energy again.

i want to feel like being perpetually naked 🙂

i want to know that i am breaking the cycle of eating and lack of excercise that will undoubtedly cause me much heartache in the next 5 years.

i want to have a stable blood-sugar level.

how am i going to do this?

well, anassadeina has offered to be my “coach”. i suck at reading and assimilating. i have read all the books she has suggested. i know the concepts. i just need some support…and a loving nudge occassionally 🙂

so i bought my own copy of Protein Power (although i accidentally got the “LifePlan” edition…which has even more cool info!), a copy of “8 Minutes in the Morning” (which gives me HOPE that i actually can commit to an excercise program), and a carb counter book.

this weekend we are going camping, so i ahve on the grocery list things like beef jerky, eggs, lunch meat, cheese and bacon…rather than the standard fare of muffins, crackers, chips, etc.

monday i get to grocery shop for real…stocking up on all the things that will keep me on the Path to Goodness. over the weekend, i make my lists of all the things i like eating and the amounts i want to consume. and i start the 8 Minutes stuff. and i weight myself.

overall, i feel really happy about the idea of this. if i can stick to it, by the time we leave washington, i should see a pretty substantial change. by the time we move to NOLA, i should be able to step out in my finest sexiest goth gear in search of good music and new friends 🙂

i cant tell you how much mairi’s help means to me…she is such a wealth of knowledge. but then again…sucking things out of her remains my favorite passtime 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *